We've just interviewed Chloe-Jasmine Whichello for an hour and a half - three times the length we usually spend with most X Factor contestants. She's quoted Shakespeare, Jessica Rabbit, and a Dr Pepper advert, likened herself to a tiny bird and an orange, and drawn parallels between her body image and the extinction of the dinosaurs. She's made us laugh with her quick wit, feel distinctly uncomfortable with her cold stare, think philosophically, and... we're not really sure what's just happened.
If we were baffled about what Chloe is really like before, we're even more befuddled now. Eccentric, funny ("I'm pregnant with Stevi Ritchie's baby!" she cries as she bursts into our studio the morning after Jake Quickenden's joke about them became headline news) and at times lovely, Chloe can also be prickly - and we're not entirely sure she likes us. For that, we can forgive her.
Chloe is this year's X Factor column-inch queen - according to the papers she's had drug binges, been to sex parties, posed naked for sex-toy websites and, not surprisingly, it's all really getting to her. So we want to give her a chance to set the record straight. One thing we can promise is, her ultra-posh accent is real. It doesn't drop once... apart from when she does one of her seven impressions of course.
Right, let's go through some of the stories about you. Your ex-boyfriend Dave Kai Piper said you took drugs and went on booze binges...
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I didn't date him! We owned a business together. He said I was on a bender in Berlin on my birthday, but I was in Leicester, doing a photo shoot. It upset me so much, it made me feel sick, it made my family feel sick. I'm teetotal. I found out I'm allergic to alcohol about four years ago. If someone cooks with red wine I black out.
Did you go to a Killing Kittens sex party?
I thought it was something to do with animal rights. I said, "I've never killed a kitten." I though it was some kind of weird Satanic ritual.
*** Read Chloe's full interview in this week's heat magazine - OUT NOW!***