Did Cara Delevingne and St. Vincent have sex in a plane?

Yesterday everyone was asking if the Prime Minister put his old chap in a dead pig's mouth. Today we're asking whether model-turned-actress Cara Delevingne joined the mile-high club with her girlfriend St. Vincent. Just think, what could we be asking tomorrow?

Has Kanye West got Barack Obama's backing to run for President of America? Has Justin Bieber's discarded monkey been cast in the new King Kong film? Did Mary Berry deck Paul Hollywood after he made a lewd joke about a tart?

The answer to all those questions will undoubtedly be no. But for now, some eyewitnesses on a plane soaring between LAX and Heathrow spotted Cara and St. Vincent - real name Anne Erin Clark - canoodling on a flight. Cara was heading to London to make the red carpet for Pan's film premiere on Sunday.

TOP NEWS

A witness with eyes, who shall henceforth be referred to as an eyewitness, said: "The girls were really PDA-ing. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other while they were kissing, and it set the other passengers’ tongues wagging"

After that the eyewitness claimed Cara, 23 and St. Vincent 32, snuck off to one of the cubicles together, then came back "looking pretty dishevelled". Hang on though, that doesn't mean they went in there and did the sex, does it?

Maybe the toilet's lock wasn't working and they had to take it in turns to hold the door, while they each did thunderous long-haul poos? That would make anyone look a bit disheveled, even world-famous pretty person Cara Delevingne and less famous, but equally glamorous St. Vincent.

Nevertheless, the eyewitness added: "They didn’t manage to creep in there too discretely, as loads of people saw.

"Eyebrows were raised throughout the cabin, and some of the crew seemed awkward, but nobody disturbed them."

Nobody disturbed them? You see, that's what you pay for when you fly first class. No one wants to join the mile-high club in one of those EasyJet coffin-bogs. Every time you flush it sounds like you're going to get sucked out of the aeroplane, not that you'd be flushing much if you were upto sexy business, mind. Well, maybe just one courtesy flush at the end to maintain the illusion that you were just peeing, not bonking.

The source closed by saying: "Fifteen minutes later, they reappeared, looking pretty dishevelled before sitting back down in their seats."

Is sex in the air actually meant to be better than normal ground-based sex? Who knows? Well, maybe Cara and St. Vincent know.