Forgive heat for the following…well, it can only really be described as 'word porn', but we're a little bit in love with Great British Bake Off's brand new hotty, Selasi Gbormittah. Actually screw that: we're not even a bit sorry. He's a slamming fitty and you goddamn know it.
From his very first appearance on the show, when he absolutely destroyed the Technical Challenge with an adept jaffa cake, Selasi has proved he doesn't even need an oven to make the temperature in the tent rise.
He bakes mad, mad cakes. He consumes doughnuts like a demon. He rides a motorbike AND he does it all with a twinkle in his eye. Here's 11 reasons why Selasi is 100% heat's boyfriend right now.
The man can KNEAD
Imagine, for a moment, that you are a lump of dough. You're soggy, you're staying in today, you might even be suffering a bit of a yeast infection. But what's this? Magic hands smoothing out all your bumps and knots. You become warm and pliant, stretching out as your glutinous fibres break down. You are golden. Your back is arching against the cool countertop. TAKE US TO B(R)E(A)D RIGHT NOW, SELASI.
Dat smile doe
Goddamn pantsfeels getting in the way of work. WE NEED TO PAY OUR BILLS, SELASI.
He made a Beauty And The Beast cake like it was NBD
We had no idea we needed a confectionery version of the Beast's captive rose until we saw THIS bad boy. Look how precious those sparkly iced petals are. Imagine his furrowed brow as he piped that frosting around the top, a bead of sweat gleaming in the soft candlelight. Imagine how steady his hands must have been, with ne'er a tremor in sight.
He can rev up a bike wearing flip-flops, like he's courting danger while only wanting the best for his feet
Normally we'd be all like 'nah pal' about men in flip-flops (heat is still traumatised from seeing a very real case of athlete's foot during a bus journey in early June), but can we just observe the look of appreciation on his face as he gently starts up that bike? Imagine someone looking at you like that.
He just frigging loves nature
We reckon Selasi could take you and yer parents on a country walk and be able to talk about water tables and bird nests and all sorts. Then he'd ravish you in a haystack while your ma and pa were finishing their carvery at the pub.
He knows the right amount of chocolate is ALL THE CHOCOLATE
Check out this birthday cake he made for his bro. This is what he'd bake you when you're slumped on the sofa with cramps and all you need is sugar in your face.
He has the best sense of humour
Man can rock a bow tie
GodDAMN.
He works OUT
Even we'd go to the gym if this was the view on offer.
And he makes his own jam. HIS. OWN. JAM.
And salted caramel. And lemon curd. And magical unicorn juice, probably.
He's really good with kids
Just look at him jogging up this mountain with his little cousin casually perched on his back. Has there ever been a happier child in the history of humans? No. No, there has not.
And he feels the same way about biscuits as we do
AKA we want to roll around with them and just have some no-crumbs fun, y'know?
Our lawyers are making us say Selasi is extremely not single so we don't get charged with stalking. HAPPY, NIGEL?
**Great British Bake Off winners: Where are they now? **
The Great British Bake Off continues on Wednesdays at 8pm on BBCOne.