Ben Fogle has spoken about the awful tragedy of his wife Marina having to give birth to their stillborn son by herself a year ago this week.
The TV presenter had been celebrating his grandma's 100th birthday in Canada when he was told Marina had gone into labour at 33 weeks and their baby hadn't survived.
He then had to get on a plane without knowing if she would make it.
"I was effectively told that Marina would die," he told the Mirror.
"That was the worst part about it, the helplessness and not knowing when the plane landed whether Marina would be alive or not.
"Knowing already I had lost my unborn son and not knowing how she would be... that definitely affected me deeply for six months."
Ben became "deeply controlling" and unsociable, something he now recognises as "elements of depression".
The couple, who celebrate their ninth anniversary this year, named their boy William and often talk about him with their older children, Ludo, six, and Iona, four.
"We've always been a very honest family, so we speak about what's happened. They have been amazing," he added.