Brian Blessed once delivered a baby by biting through the umbilical cord and licking its face clean

Sorry, u wot m8?

brian blessed baby

by Emmeline Saunders |
Published on

If you saw Brian Blessed trending today on Twitter and had a momentary panic that he’d died, you wouldn’t be the only one – but fear not; he was actually appearing there for a far different reason.

Because… and there’s no way to put this really, no delicate method of revealing the maddest celebrity story we’ve ever heard… erm. Brian Blessed once chomped through a newborn baby’s umbilical cord and then licked its face clean.

[View post on imgur.com](http://imgur.com/6ZbQ7Tn)

Yep. He told the mind-blowing story today on BBC Radio 4, revealing that he’d been walking through a London park in 1963 when something caught his attention.

Over to Brian:

“I was in Richmond Park and a woman was having a baby under a tree and there was nobody around. I rushed over to her.”

Oh god. You know what’s coming, don’t you.

“I told her to breathe deeply and I delivered the baby. I got the afterbirth out, then I bit it loose and tied it into a knot and then I called for help.”

Oh help. Oh gross. Oh that’s so disgusting we’ve just retched ourselves inside out.

“My shirt was covered in blood. I was saying, ‘it’s alright darling’, and I was licking the baby’s face.”

WHY WERE YOU LICKING A NEWBORN BABY’S FACE, BRIAN BLESSED? ARE YOU A DOG? WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING WHITE-HOT FK WERE YOU THINKING?**

Anyway, Brian Blessed once delivered a woman’s baby so hard he had to use his teeth to sever its external organ. Now turn off the internet and lie down in a darkened room forever.

[View post on imgur.com](http://imgur.com/cJOIUUy)

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