CBB 2015: Alicia Douvall REGRETS splitting from Simon Cowell

It’s all rather predictable that Alicia Douvall has spilled the beans on her THANG with Simon Cowell on Celebrity Big Brother – but we still want to know, because it’s about Simon, and we’re obsessed with Simon, whether we want to be or not.

And yes, we just wrote the word “thang”. We’ve got that Friday feeling, mmmkay?

Alicia dated the music mogul for six months in 2001, but sadly never made it into his harem. SOB!

She got all confessional on CBB, saying that she’s jealous of Simon Cowell’s babymama, Lauren Silverman.

“Of course I wish it was me. I think all girls wish they were her, don’t they?" She said.

“But I was surprised to see him settle down.”

Yo, speak for yourself, Alicia – we’re not sure that ALL girls want to be shacked up with Simon (although, admittedly, some do).

It’s time to turn that frown upside down, Alicia, and think about the pluses of not, er, getting whisked to Barbados every few months.

For one, we can imagine that Sinitta can turn those palm leaves into lethal weapons when she has to. Ever been attacked with a palm leaf? That would HURT.

At least you avoided getting thwacked with a massive leaf by Sinitta, Alicia. You’ll always have that.

Here's a short history of Alicia's face...