Swallow your breakfast and never feel hungry again news now: Celebrity Big Brother star Scotty T once had sex with a human lady so hard that he did a poop on the bed.
Last night, the CBB housemates were swapping sexploits when Scotty revealed what is possibly the worst sex story heat has ever heard.
"I was in Ibiza. I was shagging this lass – standard – and I followed through," he started, while the rest of the celebs looked on horrified.
"This is how clever Scotty T is. At the same time she is still going, I got the sheet and started wiping my arse."
heave
Scotty continued: "So I'm kicking the sheet off the bed. When I finished I stood up and told her, 'look, I'm just going to the toilet'."
He managed to kick the soiled bedding into the bathroom and the hapless girl never knew what a gross specimen she'd just got to know in the biblical sense.
Jeez, Louise. How foul is that? There's a time and a place for poop stuff and none of those times or places are when you're boning in Ibiza.
Anyway, Scotty T has obviously grown up loads since then. He's, y'know, allegedly got himself a girlfriend outside the CBB house, so that's nice.
Except… except he's been trying it on with the recently evicted Megan McKenna, hasn't he? Oh dear.