Sex. Sexy sex stuff. S-e-x. Sexxxx. Birds do it, bees do it, even undereducated Celebrity Big Brother housemates do it – or rather, they really wish they were doing it.
Because Tiffany Pollard once again manages to lower the tone in tonight's episode by admitting she gets "moist" by listening to Stephanie Davis and Jeremy McConnell making out.
Gross.
In this evening's show, we'll see Danniella Westbrook and Tiff chatting in the garden amid a task in which the housemates have to answer hundreds of ringing phones to see if their friends or family are calling.
Speaking about the task, Danniella said: “I might sleep in the lounge just to man the phones. I can’t sleep with all that shenanigans.”
Ooh. Sh- shenanigans? You can't be referring to, um, Steph and Jez's bedtime Scrabble sessions, Dan?
Unfortunately, she was.
"That makes me uncomfortable now," Tiff told her.
"It wasn't bothering me until now. You know what it is; it's the sounds of kissing. Because I'm not gonna lie to you, when I was hearing the sounds of kissing, I was becoming quite moist. It's throwing me off my game."
Moist.
MOIST.
MOIST.
Lest we forget, Tiffany is struggling with the whole… hands-free nature of being in the CBB house – she had to take herself off to the loo earlier this week to sort herself out, so.
Later, Jeremy asks Tiff whether she'd ever have sex in the house, because Scotty T is "starving" for it.
She replies: "We're not smashed enough and my vagina is quite tight and everybody would hear me getting it open."
Hmm, curious. Perhaps Tiffany's vajayjay is like a can of soup that needs one of those mechanical tin openers? This really throws up more questions than it answers, love.
That's not even the end of the vag chat, as Tiff later tells Big Brother in the Diary Room that it would be great if Stephanie gets evicted tonight, because there'll be "more opportunity to have fun with this beautiful young boy".
"I'm definitely in the mood, I need a good sticking."
Catch the live final Friday 5 February at 9pm on Channel 5.