Following his announcement that he is HIV-positive, Charlie Sheen has opened up about his struggle with the disease.
The 50-year-old revealed to Matt Lauer on the Today show that he was diagnosed four years ago and, follwong the interview, the actor has penned a lengthy open letter for the US morning program's website.
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He writes: 'Roughly four years ago, I suddenly found myself in the throws of a seismic and debilitating three-day cluster-migraine like headache...Following a battery of endless tests, that included a hideous spinal tap, it was sadly and shockingly revealed to me that I was, in fact, positive for HIV.
He describes the news as a ‘mule kick' to his soul and reveals that he struggled to accept the reality of his situation. After beginning a 'rigorous and intensive treatment program' Charlie believed himself to be 'victorious and kicking this disease's ass', however, this unfortunately was not the case.
He continues: 'The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal decent into profound substance abuse and fathomless drinking. It was a suicide run. Problem was, I'd forgotten that I'm too tough for such a cowardly departure.'
He then discusses the revelation he made on the Today show - that he had been blackmailed by people he knew of his condition. He reveals: 'In and around this perplexing and difficult time, I dazedly chose (or hired) the companionship of unsavory and insipid types.
'Regardless of their salt-less reputations, I always lead with condoms and honesty when it came to my condition. Sadly, my truth soon became their treason, as a deluge of blackmail and extortion took center stage in this circus of deceit.'
Despite the hard times he has gone through since his diagnosis, Charlie ends on a positive note, saying he is claiming back his 'freedom' and concludes: 'I accept this condition not as a curse or scourge, but rather as an opportunity and a challenge. An opportunity to help others. A challenge to better myself.'