Life can be cruel sometimes, and no crueller than when two reality stars decide they will no longer be joining genitals in an approximation of love.
What we're trying to say here – and please, make sure you've got a handful of post-Christmas Ferrero Rochers on hand, because this is going to be tough for you – is that Geordie Shore's Charlotte Crosby and Gary 'Gaz' Beadle are No More.
They are over, for what feels like the 73rd time in the last 12 months, as Char confirmed on* This Morning*.
Speaking to an obviously devastated Holly Willoughby and a barely-holding-it-together Phil Schofield, Charlotte explained that the pair had split in the last couple of weeks.
"We spent some time together over Christmas, and it was nice, but I don't think I want to go back there again anymore. I think it's over now," she said.
You… don't want to go back there anymore? Like, EVER? No. No. heat can't cope with this, Char. Throw us a bone here, love, PLEASE.
As for her future on Geordie Shore, the 25-year-old star said she's definitely staying on – unless she falls in love and it's "the real deal".
"[The next series] is going to be a crazy one. Am I single? Yeah, I'm single, yeah. We have some new faces and it's going to be great," she added.
'Scuse us. We need to go put on some waterproof mascara now.