Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne. Li-Li and Chezza. Chiam. We're still not sure, tbh. Still can't get our head around it. Still wondering whether Simon Cowell's got his finger in this pie. Still feeling a bit ill at the idea of Simon's kitchen worktops covered in holey pies. But that's beside the point.
Because listen up, and listen up good: Liam and Cheryl are MAKING MUSIC TOGETHER. And we're not even making a sex joke there, although we can if you want us to. THEY'RE MAKING SWEET, SWEET MUSIC TOGETHER. AND AFTER THAT THEY'RE GOING TO THE STUDIO TO MAKE ACTUAL SWEET MUSIC TOGETHER.
WAS THAT ENOUGH OF A SEX JOKE FOR YOU?
Good, because our caps finger was starting to ache.
Yeah, no, seriously: Liam and Cheryl are currently in LA and they've been penning tunes together while they're out there, though no-one can say what the outcome of this will be.
(crosses everything and prays for a Chiam studio album of classic discos covers)
In this week's heat magazine, a mate of Cheryl explains what the lovers have been up to across the Pond.
"Cheryl's been in the studio working on new music practically every day and night since she arrived in LA," the friend tells us.
"She's begged Liam to do the same. They're writing songs together, and she told Liam they’ll get a lot more done if he avoids 'bad influence' Louis Tomlinson."
Hang on a hot minute – Louis Tomlinson, a bad influence?! Doting father Louis Tomlinson – a bad influence?! Louis Tomlinson, one half of OTP Larry Stylinson – a bad influence?! Nah. Surely not.
Cheryl's pal went on: "Of course she knows Liam would never cheat on her, but I think she's worried that Louis, or Harry Styles, who's also in LA, would lead him astray.
"If Liam's even so much as pictured with another girl, it would start rumours."
Pick up this week's heat magazine for the full story. And if you hear even one single beat of leaked Chiam music, GET IN TOUCH IMMEDIATELY, OK.
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