Some people turn to religion. Others have drugs, or Krispy Kremes, or that incredible Biscoff Lotus spread to ease their pain. Us? Well we’ve got Danny Dyer. Whenever there’s an important decision to be made, we think WWDD. What Would Danny Do?
Turns out, there’s quite a bit Danny would do if he was allowed – including getting a moob reduction to sort out his man-tits.
In the Mirror’s extract from his new book, The World According To Danny Dyer: Life Lessons From The East End, the EastEnders star reckons his burgeoning tatas are the worst part of his body.
“Plastic surgery is a no for me. I wouldn’t do Botox, I need my face, it is important. I need expressions,” he points out.
“The only thing I would have done is my tits, which have arrived recently, my little man cups.
“I don’t mind having a couple of chins, I don’t mind having a bit of an arse on me or having a bit of a belly. Do not give me a pair of tits, please. Anything but tits.”
He goes on to say his dad got gout through boozing and overdoing it on the grub, but Danny’d rather have gout than “A-cup tits” any day.
The guv’nor then gets rather philosophical, pondering on whether being attractive is the only measure of someone’s worth:
“Mother Theresa was hardly a looker, was she? Did Oskar Schindler say, 'I know I saved all them people, but look at me. Bald. I’ll always feel like shit’?”
Hello, yes, we would like this quote rendered in cross-stitch and hung above our bed now please.
And now for a selection of Danny Dyer's best quotes
Danny Dyer's best quotes
1 of 20"Gonna watch a bit of #questiontime while munching on a toasted crumpet that's absolutely pissing with marmite…;)…..sophistication."
2 of 20"I've realised with insomnia that you are never really awake and you're never really asleep…..a trippy surreal existence."
3 of 20"Just to let you know the fact I'm tweeting about dog costumes don't assume it's coz I'm f**ked out my nut on drugs. ;-) Many thanks."
4 of 20"It was a real lesson. (Countdown) My new favourite long word is "Discomf**kingbobulate". Rachel didn't know what f**king hit her. ;)"
5 of 20"F**king love a Big Mac me…"
6 of 20"Just watched Ratatouille with the Littlen………f**k me I was rooting for that rat…."
7 of 20"Tonight I will be on the Gadget show on Channel 5 @ 8 o Clock. If you're interested………enjoy……..if not……..well…….get f**ked..x"
8 of 20"Jeremy Kyle….fair play…how the f**k do you find the most unf**kable people to have ever walked the planet….."
9 of 20"Well that was weird. Found a lovely pond/lake not a f**king duck in sight. Maybe they was shy…..or maybe they was arrogant……..pricks."
10 of 20"I hate that early bird………. You know the one who catches the worm………get back in ya nest ya feathery little mug……….."
![Just whacked me [Christmas] tree upu2026.it's looking slightly camp this yearu2026..can't work out how 2 give it a pair a bollocks.](https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/lifestyle-legacy/e8/3a44c/4d3b6/accca/65fd5/a7354/80cbc/danny-dyer11_620x713.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
11 of 20"Just whacked me [Christmas] tree up….it's looking slightly camp this year…..can't work out how 2 give it a pair a bollocks."
12 of 20"Having a beer with the old man for his birthday. 58 today. Love the fact he's a major pisshead. #likefatherlikeson"
13 of 20"On my way to talk some bollocks with @AlanCarr hope he's got some Jagerbombs ready. Enjoy the last of the sun. U know its gonna f**k off."
14 of 20"Tu-Pac. Bury me a G. Aggressive sexiness."
15 of 20"Oh…. the joys of having an Oyster Card….."
16 of 20"'Danny Dyers Deadliest 100 year Olds Skidmarked Pants'…Coming soon….#ITV"
17 of 20"That moment when you realize that @KTHopkins wants to be friends with ya…..happy Friday my loves. ;)"
18 of 20"Beautiful day…..beautiful…..such a shame that the flys are floating about…..the shit eating busy pricks……"
19 of 20"When I walk in me kids tiny shitted up toy room it's like an explosion of animal noises that nasty wheels on the bus song and general cack."
20 of 20