Danny Dyer’s just revealed what his wedding guests are going to eat – BLEURGH

Can we have the veggie option, please Danny?


by Emmeline Saunders |
Published on

Listen, we were all ready to get f*cking FURIOUS about our lack of invitation to Danny Dyer’s wedding, but… then we heard what he was preparing to serve his guests. Now we’re happy to give it a miss, tbh.

Because EastEnders’ Danny, who’s getting hitched to long-term partner Joanne Mas later this summer, is putting WHELKS on the wedding breakfast menu.

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Speaking to the Star over the weekend, the Cockney geezer said it was going to be a right old East End knees up.

“It’s going to be in a register office, we'll have a few prawn vol-au-vents and a couple of whelks knocking about,” he said.

“We haven't set an exact date yet but it'll be in August.”

"Wedding invite? You're WHELKS. Geddit?!"

Joanne and Danny got engaged earlier this year when Joanne proposed on Valentine’s Day, prompting eternal optimist Katie Hopkins to rant at Danny on Twitter about how no man should want to be proposed to.

“I don’t believe any woman really WANTS to propose to a man. Women would far rather be proposed TO than propose AT. @MrDDyer etc,” she tweeted.

Danny, obviously, didn’t take that lying down, instantly hitting back about Hopkins’ appearance.

Sheesh. Speaking about their engagement recently, Joanne said it was only after their three children were born that she felt the time was right for them to tie the knot.

“I’ve always wanted to marry Danny and I decided that if I didn’t get things moving, it would never happen,” she said.

“I never wanted to get married when the children were babies because I wanted to let my hair down and enjoy the day. But we have had our little boy now and we’re not going to have any more, so the time is right.”

N’aww. Good luck with the wedding plans, guys – just make sure those whelks are Thames-fresh, yeah? Otherwise your guests will remember your big day for alllllll the wrong reasons.

British Soap Awards 2015 - ALL the dresses


british soap awards 2015 all dresses gallery

Stephanie Waring1 of 30

Stephanie Waring

Hollyoaks star Steph showed off her impressive boobage in a plunging silver gown. Her fishtail, with its unfortunately high bouffant, made her look very Frozen. Was that the aim?

Anna Passey2 of 30

Anna Passey

Hollyoaks villain Anna, who plays Sienna Blake in the show, opted for a nude fishtail number with black embroidery and a giant beehive 'do.

Amanda Clapham3 of 30

Amanda Clapham

Hollyoaks star Amanda dared to bare in a belly-flashing navy co-ord. Part-night out in Manchester, part-bridesmaid. Again, a massive beehive. How. Much. Hairspray?

Amanda Clapham4 of 30

Amanda Clapham

Even Amanda doesn't look sure about that bouff...

Maddy Hill5 of 30

Maddy Hill

Easties babe Maddy skipped frocks in favour of a bronze suit with black extras.

Gemma Atkinson6 of 30

Gemma Atkinson

Gem looked very pleased with her thigh-split, racer-front blue dress.

Jorgie Porter7 of 30

Jorgie Porter

Always the one having the most fun, LBD-wearing Jorgie playfully flashedfor the waiting photogs.

Shona McGarty8 of 30

Shona McGarty

Eastenders star Shona looked sleek in her black strapless number with statement earring and co-ord clutch.

Kym Marsh9 of 30

Kym Marsh

Kym's diamante-trimmed white gown flashed her toned waist. That silver clutch is HUGE. Are you carrying your iPad?

Jessica Fox10 of 30

Jessica Fox

Hollyoaks star Jess has had SO much experience of attending these things. This frock was a messy disappointment for us. Soz, Jess.

Jennifer Metcalfe11 of 30

Jennifer Metcalfe

We're not fans of this silvery-grey tassle-tastic number. We are, however, fans of your incred figure, Jen. You win some, you lose some.

Catherine Tyldesley12 of 30

Catherine Tyldesley

How stunning did new mum Cath look in this beautiful yellow frock? Perfecto hair and make up, too.

Brooke Vincent13 of 30

Brooke Vincent

She nails it again! Only last week Brooke ticked all the right boxes at BAFTA TV in London. Her Soap Awards look is cool, sharp and totally hot. Just the right amount of party, sex and glamour.

Gemma Merna14 of 30

Gemma Merna

Gem gets the thumbs up from us for this sparkling white number and va-va-voom curls.

The Beales15 of 30

The Beales

How much does Cindy Beale, aka Mimi Keene, look like a mini Michelle Keegan? Ian, you scrub up well. Jane... Are you sponsored by EE tonight?

Jasmine Armfield16 of 30

Jasmine Armfield

Jasmine, who plays Rebecca Fowler in Eastenders, went for all-out siren in red lace with black courts.

Vogue Williams17 of 30

Vogue Williams

We're not sure why Brain McFadden's wifey Vogue was there. Nor why she decided to flash her boobies through palma violet lace.

Fiona Wade18 of 30

Fiona Wade

Emmerdale's Fiona Wade looked chic in her noir dress with sheer tummy panelling. The actress steered clear of any trashy vibes by keeping her hair and make up J-Lo glossy.

Alison King19 of 30

Alison King

We liked King's polka dot sheer dress and fun curls a LOT.

Diane Parish, Richard Blackwood, Ellen Thomas and Tameka Empson20 of 30

Diane Parish, Richard Blackwood, Ellen Thomas and Tameka Empson

That is some impressive cleavage, bbz! Loving Di's pale pink and Tameka's sassy feathers. And Rich, in general.

Tisha Merry21 of 30

Tisha Merry

This dress is screaming "MARBZ" at us. Never a good thing.

Hayley Tammadon22 of 30

Hayley Tammadon

It's hard to get an LBD wrong but Hayley definitely has with this flesh-panel-built-in-necklace frock-up.

Ruby O'Donnell23 of 30

Ruby O'Donnell

Soebody save Hollyoaks star Ruby before she ends up living her life in a What Were You Thinking... column.

Emily Cunliffe24 of 30

Emily Cunliffe

Kym Marsh's daughter gets a yes for the sleek jumpsuit but a no for those clumpy heels. A sexy single-strap block heel would've been way cooler.

Daisy Wood-Davis25 of 30

Daisy Wood-Davis

Off to have afternoon tea in 1849, are we? You're missing your bonnet.

Nikki Sanderson26 of 30

Nikki Sanderson

THIS is how to work sheer and chic!

Natalie Anderson27 of 30

Natalie Anderson

Nat wowed in her satin choc gown with glossy curls and flawless beauty.

Danielle Harold28 of 30

Danielle Harold

Dan opted for a halterneck LBD and navy clutch for the bash.

Lisa Hammond29 of 30

Lisa Hammond

Eastenders star Lisa flashed her legs in sheer lace and rocked a sweet fishtail plait.

Kellie Bright30 of 30

Kellie Bright

Bright by name, bright by nature!

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