Dappy escapes jail after attacking man in nightclub

In a magical land called Camden located in the northern reaches of Inner London grew a man, a little man, named Dappy.

But what he lacked in height, he made up for in package (come on, we must have all seen the naked picture he leaked HIMSELF by now).

In fact, the, erm, punch of Dappy and his package was cause for concern amongst authorities and, by authorities, we mean Her Majesty’s Prison Service.

Prison wardens held emergency meetings as they struggled to think of how to accommodate Dappy and his extra man baggage should he ever have to spend time inside after getting into a bit of a scrape.

You see, the former N-Dubz rapper had a bum-clencher of a day today – he faced jail for attacking a man in a Reading nightclub last October after he told Dapz not to speak to his girlfriend.

The former Celebrity Big Brother housemate stood up at Guildford Crown Court in September where he was tried under his real name, Costadinos Contostavlos, and was found guilty of punching the man.

But today Dappy, who is so skint he's being forced to sell his house, sat in the dock and prayed, bit his nails and rocked back and forth as he waited to hear his sentence.

After the judge spoke, the popstar cried as he was told he would walk free, having been given a two-month sentence suspended for 12 months.

In addition, he was ordered to pay £800 compensation to his victim, an £800 fine and £1,200 costs as well as an £80 surcharge. He also has a four-month curfew from 10pm-5am.

And it seems Camden and the rest of the world will see a change in the musician, with him saying outside the court: “I’m very relieved, it’s a brand new me.”

Has he really turned a corner?

GALLERY: Dappy's leaked penis picture - his peen covered with different objects