We’ve often woken up in the middle of the night – heart racing, back sweating, mouth dry and sticky with fear – just praying that Drake is OK. Whereabouts in the world is he? Is he scared? Hungry? Feeling a bit sad? We feel quite responsible for him, tbh, and we don’t know why.
But this picture – this one photographic image of Drake – has changed our mind completely.
Look at him here, Drake made man, Drizzy standing tall and proud and strong and holy jebus would you look at those arms.
Drake’s working out in a fancy gym, as you can see, and he’s wearing a grey round-neck top and pink shorts. So far, so normal. But look: there isn’t a hint of sweat on that top so he could have only just started lifting.
Except that’s totally at odds with the expression on his face, isn’t it. The clenched jaw that screams of discomfort. The crumpled brow muscles that belie his almost-smile. He’s trying to let us know he’s OK, guys. He’s trying to smile through the pain.
If that doesn’t make you feel a little bit heartbroken inside, then you’re a terrible monster. What we need to do now – as a world, as a united human race – is work together to ensure Drake lives and long and happy life.
If, like, the Middle East can group together and take responsibility for ensuring that Drake’s mittens are joined together with a long piece of string, and west Africa can sort out his lunchbox every day, just think how much Drake could achieve.
Drake - 6 weird apps based on the rapper
Drake - 6 weird apps based on the rapper
1 of 61. Drizzy
Is there any situation we can’t sum up with a Drake lyric? Nope, no there isn’t – which is why the new Drizzy app is so great.Drizzy allows fans to respond to text messages using a set of pre-written Drake lyrics, which are conveniently categorised into Exes, Feels, Hustle and Hate. There’s also a Random category for when you just don’t know how you’re feelin’.
2 of 62. Drizzy Eyebrow Pluck Makeup Spa
We’ve all secretly wanted to pluck Drizzy’s big old brows since 2008, and finally Drizzy Eyebrow Pluck Makeup Spa is here to fulfil that dream.You might even call it a “Drakeover” (sorry).
3 of 63. Drake Shake
Adding a splash of rap royalty to your boring old selfie is easier than you might think. Simply snap a Drake-less photo (or choose one you already have saved) and shake the phone for Drizzy to appear.
4 of 64. Tiny Skating Drizzy
Guide little Drizzy on his skateboard in this ridiculously difficult game. Seriously, if you manage to jump over one obstruction, you’re probably the game’s high scorer.
5 of 65. Tap the Tiles – Drizzy Edition
The aim of the game is to “keep Drizzy busy” by tapping the tile on which his head appears. It gets boring after about two games, but this game’s redeeming feature is the Drake lyrics you get with your score.
6 of 66. Amazing Super-Star Hero Road Dash: Rapper Drizzy Drake Edition
Help Drake run (through the six with his woes) in this basic but kind of addictive game. Navigate little Drizzy through the mean streets of Toronto, collecting coins and avoiding obstacles.