WOW. Ex On The Beach has only just arrived back on our telly screens but we have already seen SO MUCH DRAMA.
In the first ep, we witnessed Gary Beadle getting down and dirty with Jemma Lucy on the first night (despite the whole on-off-on-off again relationship with Charlotte Crosby IRL). There was also Stephen Bear, the badly paid (allegedly) Celebrity Big Brother contestant, wandering around trying to woo the girls like the Hawaiian shirted don of the island.
Alas, things are only going to get MORE complicated and awkward and weird and shouty for the Ex On The Beachers.
YAY.
David Hawley, Jemma Lucy's ex, arrives at the villa and shortly after the shit hits the fan. Big time.
After calling Jemma his 'little bit ex' (cue awkward footage of her calling him the love of her life), Gaz decides to have a chat with him, because these lot love a bit of confrontation. We mean, 'sorting things out, like,'.
"Why would you do that man?" Hawley starts calmly."You should have morals, man, and respect people."
He is, of course, referring to Gaz and Jemma's night of passion, an evening of champagne and fluffy cushions, beautifully chorused by Gaz's regretful-in-the-act commentary of: "I shouldn't be fucking,"
Romantic.
Suddenly, the boys are pacing like horses and Gaz refers to an ex.
He tells the camera: "Hawley is literally being a f*cking hypocrite.
"Hawley, you banged my ex, I banged yours. Pot. Kettle. Black,"
AHMAHGAHD. Char and Hawley WERE rumoured to be doing a thing a while back – could it really be?
Then a very concerned-looking Liam Lewis appears. Look.
It escalates and Hawley starts chucking Marnie Simpson's name about and questioning Gaz's boy codes, before dragging a riled-up Jemma into the argument leading to her start screaming: "You fucking broke my heart, Hawley. YOU FUCKING RUINED ME!" before accusing him of shagging "the whole of Newcastle" and collapsing in tears in the kitchen.
BLIMEY. Tuesday's episode is definitely not for the faint hearted.
Gaz closes the argument with: "You think everyone's got morals in Newcastle? Everyone bangs birds, man. Everyone's banged every fucking bird in Newcastle."
Nice. Eloquent as ever, Mr. Beadle.