Gemma Collins is BACK on our TV screens tonight for the Christmas special of TOWIE – and you’re gonna need to lock up your men, because she’s looking for love again.
The 33-year-old has jetted back from her shortened stint in the I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! jungle and is ready to return to Essex to resume her place in the cast line-up.
All this despite vowing to quit TV for good just after coming out of the jungle, when she told a friend that her “traumatic experience” had been a massive wake-up call and said it was time to re-evaluate her life. Huh.
Tonight’s Christmas episode is set to be a great one – along with the return of Gemma, we’ll see Bobby Norris, Chloe Sims and Ferne McCann at a huge glitzy party along with Lydia Bright, Danielle Armstrong, Georgia Kousoulou, Billie Faiers and Georgia M.
The event was filmed inside Lympne Castle in Kent, meaning the TOWIE cast actually had to leave Essex and pay to go over the Dartford Crossing for their festive cheer. OUTRAGEOUS.
James ‘Arg’ Argent will be notably absent from tonight’s festivities as he’s been suspended from filming are allegedly testing positive for cocaine.
He’s thought to be seeking treatment in rehab this week, where he’ll be spending the Christmas period by himself.
Catch all the Essex dramz tonight at 10pm over on ITVBe.
GALLERY: Gemma Collins' most iconic statements from the I'm A Celeb jungle
I'm A Celebrity 2014: Gemma Collins most iconic statements
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"People are going to see the real bare, stripped-back me. I might just become Bear Grylls, you never know."We never did get to see Gemma chowing down on a raw snake, drinking her own urine or sleeping inside a rancid camel (yep, Bear Grylls has seriously done all of those things).
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"Yeah alright, I've cracked at the first hurdle. It's like the turtle and the slug or the horse and the rabbit or something, I can't remember what it is."Who could forget the age-old story of the turtle and the slug?
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"If they don’t give us a treat I’m going to kill myself.”Well, the suicide threats didn’t work, but outside of the jungle is a plentiful world of treats just waiting for Gem.
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"I've never been in a shower which takes so much hard work but you've just got to roll with it, like Oasis said."
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"I feel like I’ve got malaria. My poo is bright fluorescent yellow, we’ve got to get out of here today.”Symptoms of malaria do not include yellow poo, constant whinging or an Essex accent, sorry Gem.
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"Seriously, I'd give anything for a bit of dried fruit. Dried fruit! I'm not even asking for a ham sandwich. You know what I mean? With a packet of Quavers on the side."We’re not sure dried fruit is the best remedy for fluorescent yellow diarrhea Gem, maybe just stick to dry bread and water until the ‘malaria’ clears up.
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"People that murder get treated better than this, and that's the truth. Even a murderer gets fed three times a day."Murderers also don’t get paid at least £25,000 to go on a jolly holiday to Australia either. They also tend not to have strops and quit their sentences, but who cares about the details….
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"If I'm not in that camp in three minutes, I'm quitting."That’s what the helicopter was for, Gem.