One-time Playboy model and Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend Holly Madison has written a brand new book about her time in the Playboy Mansion, and reveals she felt suicidal at times while she was there.
Holly was once Hef's number one live-in girlfriend when she lived in the Mansion from 2001 to 2009, but says the magazine magnate no longer speaks to her and she has "no loyalty" towards him now.
In the book, she describes Hef as "a man old enough to be my grandfather" and talks about contemplating drowning herself in the bath.
"Would he even miss me? No, I was certain I was just another warm body - as we all were. 'Just another blonde,' I could hear him say," she writes.
"Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading."
Holly, who is now 35, is now married to Pasquale Rotella and has a two-year-old daughter, Rainbow Aurora, but alleges there was drug use and emotional abuse rife at the Playboy Mansion.
She claims Hef tried to get her to stay during her unhappy times by "buying her" – offering to put her in his will.
"The will stated that $3,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion)," her book claims.
"At the time, it was more money than I’d ever know what to do with… But I didn’t want it. I actually pitied him for stooping to that level. I couldn’t help but be offended. Did he really think he could buy me? I put the folder back on the bed just as I had found it and never breathed a word of it."
Holly's book,* Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures And Cautionary Tales Of A Former Playboy Bunny*, is out now.
Top 20 best dressed of the week! Starring Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba and Miranda Kerr
Top 20 best dressed of the week! Starring Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba and Miranda Kerr
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