UPDATE: John Whaite has been in touch to say it was a fab experience and Mary was scary because it was like disappointing your grandma - phew!
We kind of imagine that being on The Great British Bake Off is a holy experience full of laughter, joy, and unlimited cake.
But we admit it looks stressful AF. The thought of trying to create intricate baked goods to a strict time limit with Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins constantly telling you how behind you are makes us want to take a nap and never eat cake again.
And now previous winner John Whaite has said it's not a nice experience and called Mary Berry "scary Mary" (though only in an upsetting your nan kinda way).
Blimey.
"Competing is even harder than it looks, there is so much pressure and you've got the cameras on you. It's a great experience, but it's not a nice experience. It's difficult."
"Mary is the scary one. She's Scary Mary. It can be fun, but when you're doing the challenges, that's when the tension kicks in. It's a vicious cocktail of tension and humour," he told the Daily Star.
And is anything more of an embodiment of this tense and humourous cocktail than the dick bread of last week?
If you missed the best Bake Off moment since the bread lion of 2k15 (bread week always delivers absolute bangers), it was created by project manager Tom Gillford. He insisted it was actually Thor's hammer – but we all knew it was a peen.
You may have noticed that we at heat bloody love a peen. From Alex Bowen (MASSIVE peen), to Lewis Bloor (MASSIVE AND HAIRLESS peen), to Gary Beadle (MASSIVE parsnip) – we just can't get enough of them.
So a baked peen is really right up our street, and it looked DELICIOUS.
Hosts Sue and Mel commented: "The shape you have created here it's very male isn't it…?" and Paul Hollywood declared it is favourite, saying: "Yeah it's because it's a hammer, it's strong."
What ON EARTH will batter week bring? A Yorkshire pudding vagina?
Soz.