Jake Wood wins heat’s Weird Crush 2017: Here’s why

Guys, stop what you're doing. Immediately. We have news that's gonna flip your world upside down and your brain inside out. You know Jake Wood aka Max Branning off of arguably-quite-popular soap EastEnders? Well he's only gone and won heat's Weird Crush 2017 for the third year in a row. THREE YEARS. THREE. That's about 2-and-a-half times longer than our most successful relationship.

Sigh.

Yup - Jake beat off stiff (oh, stop) competition from the likes of This Morning's Rylan Clark-Neal and silver fox Phillip Schofield, man of the moment Ed Sheeran and...um...Chief Bogo off of Zootopia to be crowned the nation's most unconventional crush.

(Meanwhile Piers Morgan struggled to make waves, but that's another story for another time)

Chatting to heat like the well chuffed little chappy he is, Jake said: "To win one was amazing, two was unbelievable, and I think I’m going to have to go have a lie down for a bit with this one.

"I don’t think it’ll ever be topped by anyone ever again…I’m definitely not resting on my laurels, though."

Er, excuse us while we add another press clipping to our shrine. Yuhuh, that's a thing. WHAT OF IT?

Can we also just take this moment to appreciate that time he did Mambo No. 5 on Strictly Come Dancing? Literally what is air?

Oh, and we've all tried the Roxy Mitchell approach at least once in our lives. DON'T LIE.

Check out the full list of weird af objects of lush right here, if you fancy. We officially have a thing for 25/25.

The full list can also be seen in this week’s issue of heat magazine and a podcast with editor-in-chief Lucie Cave discussing the results is available to download from Tuesday.

NOW READ:

Is this proof Cheryl and Liam Payne have had their baby?

Made in Chelsea's Binky and JP: A timeline of their relationship so far