James Corden confesses he REALLY fancies Hillary Clinton; has probably destroyed decades of Western political diplomacy

Goodbye, the former television personality known as James Corden.


by Emmeline Saunders |
Published on

"NOT AGAIN!" James Corden is screaming as the ice-cold water hits his face. "OH GOD NO PLEASE, NO MORE – I CAN’T TAKE IT." His orange jumpsuit is torn and stained with unidentified matter. One of the younger guards takes pity on him. "Fine, just one more loop of the Gavin & Stacey Christmas Special, but we have to keep the volume up. Them's the rules." "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," James Corden is sobbing. "Tell Hillary I take it all back. I didn't mean it, I'm sorry…" Popular television personality James Corden sinks once more into oblivion as the familiar strains of* 'Tell me tomorrow, I'll wait by the window for you' *ring through his windowless cell.

Yep, we're pretty sure that's exactly what's going on somewhere right now, thanks to James Corden's big ol' blabbermouth – he confessed to fancying one of the most powerful women in the world at the 2014 Glamour Woman of the Year Awards, and now he's getting a severe beating. Probably.

The actor took to the stage at the New York event to present an award, and locked eyes with the future leader of the free world, who was sitting in the audience with her daughter Chelsea.

"There is one woman here who I cannot take my eyes off, and there's one reason: it's because she's been undressing me with her eyes," said James.

"You know how on Instagram they have weird-crush Wednesdays? You're my weird crush every day," he continued, adding: "I want to be your ambassador for defence, secretary for offence, I want to be your minister of romance. You're a mum I'd like to follow into the White House."

Oh dear. Never mind – let's hope James isn’t getting extraordinary renditioned somewhere too awful right now.

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