Jeremy Clarkson got sacked from Top Gear over steak-gate, and the world divided itself into two camps: “we love Jeremy” and “get rid of Jeremy”.
There was also a camp called “I never watch Top Gear and REALLY don’t care about this”, but those people were trampled to the ground, a metaphorical Range Rover reversing over them again and again and again, while Richard Hammond makes wailing noises in the distance.
Do you like it down there in the mud, you lot? No? Good. And that’s how Jeremy wants it to stay.
It was announced this week that Chris Evans is taking over from Jez as new Top Gear presenter, and now, magically, Jez is claiming that the BBC actually wanted him to stay.
You know, after he punched one of their producers.
“I had a meeting with a BBC executive last week and they asked if I’d come back to Top Gear,” he told* The Sun*.
“But it was never an option, even with the 1 million people signing the Bring Back Clarkson petition – for which I was extremely humbled. Too much has gone on.”
You can say that again, Jeremy.
“The spotlight would have been on me and the show would end up being neutered. It would be difficult to do anything without interference. It would have been impossible to make the show I’d want to make.
“I think they knew this so that’s why they gave the job to Chris so soon after I met them.”
And this is nothing to do with Chris being given the job, eh? OK, OK, we believe you.