Joey Essex interviews NIGEL FARAGE on a BOAT about VAJAZZLING; rest of Earth decides to leave planet

heat has to make an apology. We see now that we were wrong. We were wrong, and we birthed this monster. For that, humanity, we are truly repentant. We realise now that it was our interview with David Cameron that kicked things off, and now we’ve got Joey Essex interviewing Nigel Farage in a boat as part of the General Election 2015 campaign trail. We are SO sorry.

Yep, the TOWIE star spent the best part of, phooof, 20 minutes? Tops? grilling the UKIP leader about vajazzling and some other topical topics in a small sea-going vessel just off the coast of Grimsby. Everything about that sentence is bleak. The reality was, we’re sure, even bleaker.

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Amazingly, the pair had a chat about EU fishing policy and managed to establish some common ground.

“I wasn’t a fisherman,” Joey told reporters, before making THIS stunning claim: “I’m in the fish trade, all my family are down Billingsgate fish market, I worked down there for a year.”

He went on: “Like Nigel just said, there’s only 15 boats here and they are slacking on catching cod I heard. I’m interested in fishing so it’s good for me to be here today.”

‘Slacking on catching cod’. That’s a whole town’s livelihood told, then.

Joey is currently filming an hour-long special called Educating Joey Essex: General Election, What Are You Saying?!, so that’ll be nice for everyone, won’t it.

Joey Essex has signed to David Gandy's modelling agency - check out his model pecs! Sorry, pics.