ey, how's your head? Awful? Like the postman is trying to wedge an entire year's worth of bills into your mouth, only the letters are booze and the envelopes are that special sawdust taste you only get with a hangover, oh and also the bills are ACTUAL bills? Yeah, well this isn't going to make you feel much better, unforch: JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT IS MARRIED.
Yah! We know! Our invite didn't come in time either! So weird! F**k you, postman.
So it looks like JGL tied the knot with his girlfriend Tasha McCauley on December 20 2014 at their home in LA in a lovely little pre-Christmas ceremony. BRB - choking on our tears. TEARS OF HAPPINESS.
The newlyweds (UHUHH-HUHH-HUHHH-HURRRR) confirmed their marital status to People mag, but didn't elaborate on the finer details of their big day.
Not much is known about Joseph's new lady-wife, except that she's the co-founder and CEO of a company called Fellow Robots based in California's Silicon Valley. Which basically means when the world ends and technology rears up to overthrow us, we're going to want her on our side.
Speaking about their relationship back in 2013, JGL said the pair had met through mutual friends.
"I have a girlfriend but I tend not to really like to talk about it in public. The girl that I'm with, she really doesn't want to be a part of it and you can imagine not wanting to have that kind of scrutiny," he said at the time.
The 33-year-old also hinted that the couple might be thinking of having children soon, saying: "I think that I could partner up with somebody - I don't know who that somebody is - I could partner up with a woman and commit to we're going to raise a family and that's a project we're going to commit to for 20-something years.
"I like to not be too committed to any one future that's really far away, necessarily, unless there's a reason, which is why I'm saying if you're gonna raise a family ... I can make that commitment."
Yeah, alright, we get it Jo. You're not that into us. It's FINE. CONGRATULATIONS.
GALLERY: 101 of the best celebrity wedding dresses OF ALL TIME!
101 of the best celebrity wedding dresses OF ALL TIME!
Amanda Abbingon (Sherlock)
Amy Poehler (They Came Together)
Sienna Miller (American Sniper)
Lady Mary Charteris
Princess Claire of Luxembourg
Alesha Dixon
Amanda Holden
Amy Smart
Bar Rafaeli
Beyoncé
Blake Lively
Carmen Electra
Cheyenne Pidgley
Christina Ricci
Crystal Hefner
David Walliams and Olly Murs
Denise Richards
Denise Van Outen
Denise Welch
Elizabeth Taylor
Flavia Cacace
Rihanna
Kate Middleton
Sophia Winkleman
Kate & Pippa Middleton
Zara Phillips
Victoria Coren Mitchell
Nancy Shevell
Poppy Delevingne
Alexandra Findlay
Maria Susini
Luisana Lopilato
Cher Lloyd
Anna Faris
Farida Khelfa
Lady Gaga
Milla Jovovich
Katy Perry
Mila Kunis
Mariah Carey
Leighton Meester
Kate Moss
Petra Ecclestone
Kate Silverton
Sienna Miller
Viktoria Cservenyak
Chloe Delevingne
Chloe Delevingne
Camilla Parker-Bowles
Victoria Coren Mitchell
Heidi Montag
Helen Flanagan
Hilaria Baldwin
Holly Valance
Jasmin Dustin
Jennifer Aniston
Kaley Cuoco
Kaley Cuoco
Karlie Kloss
Karlie Kloss
Kat Dennings
Katie Waissel
Kelly Clarkson
Khloe Kardashian
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Keira Knightley