Moustache criminal Justin Bieber has injured his eardrum by jumping off a cliff. This is a real opening sentence. This is real. This is happening.
Anyway, yes: it’s thought Bieber went ‘tombstoning’ in Ibiza this summer, which is one of those extreme sports things young people do on holiday where they jump off a cliff and into the sea and every year — without fail — someone shatters their spine like a cracked toilet and the Daily Mail writes a scare piece about it. He did that. And over the course of doing that, he hit the water eardrum-first with such force that his eardrum burst.
“Busted my ear drum cliff diving,” Bieber half-deafly tweeted last night. “Doc says might need surgery now. Sucks.” 48,000 retweets, 52,000 favs.
And Bieber warned fans that the whole ‘not being able to hear out of one ear’ thing might push the release of his new music back a bit, due to him not being able to actually hear it. “My ear drum might back us up a little but I’m still bringing you this new music,” he said. “Much love. Damn u cliff diving!” 53,000 retweets, 55,000 favs.
Biebs has assured fans that bursting his eardrum on and in a large body of water will not have a long-term effect on his career, so we can look forward to another classic like Eenie Meenie feat. Sean Kingston in the near future.