Justin Bieber lectures fans on how to take a picture with him: ‘Don’t scream’

Justin Bieber has dispensed some invaluable advice on how to get a picture taken with his big face and weird new Edward Scissorhands haircut.

The What Do You Mean? singer - who recently took a full-on backhanded slap from a Playboy bunny after he got handsy with her bunny bits - took to Snapchat to explain the intricacies of nabbing a picture with him.

Can you not, just y'know, ask? Well, no apparently not. You need to approach Justin gently, like a quivering woodland skunk, feasting on small grubs in his leafy home.

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Much like a skunk, Justin needs to be treated with respect, if you scream at either of them, they'll run away. One will scurry off to devour tiny bunnies, meanwhile the skunk will probably just go back to eating grubs somewhere else.

Speaking on Snapchat, bashful Bieber explained: "The way you ask or approach me when you want a photo with me is going determine IF I take a photo or not."

"If I’m walking somewhere or arriving somewhere and you guys are asking me to take a photo, if I don’t respond, if I continue just walking, the likelihood is that I probably don’t want to take a photo at that moment.

“Now if you start screaming louder that’s not going to make me want to take a photo more.”

The** singer continued: "I want to enjoy the moment just as you're enjoying the moment, but I can’t enjoy it if I’m not feeling there’s any respect given to me that moment.

"Usually the chances are I’ll take a photo but if perhaps I don’t, or I’m not in the mood to take a photo that moment, please just respect me and just treat me the way you want to be treated. That's all, I just wanted us to be on the same page."

Speaking of 'respect', Justin was being asked for a photo by a Playboy bunny, and refused, then another bunny (a Playboy one, not a fluffy one), defended him. He then hugged her, kissed her on the cheek and grabbed her boob. Yep, real respectful JB, well done.

Anyway, back on Snapchat, Justin continued: "Honestly I’d rather stand there and talk to you for five minutes and not take any photos… just have that moment without the chaos. It’s like, why did you travel to see me in the first place, was it really to see me, or was it to get that moment of you seeing me, so you could tell people about it?"

Justin Bieber, we'd rather not see you, or hear you, or smell you, if we're going to continue that skunk analogy from earlier.