“Justin will always be a baby to me, because they wee everywhere and never shut up”: Ludacris is looking forward to Bieber’s roast, then

Excellent news for Bieber haters

by Rosie Gizauskas |
Published on

The whole idea to “roast” Justin Bieber has been genius.

Biebs agreed to let a load of comedians and mates like Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Martha Stewart and Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy from Anchorman lay into him on stage, and it’s gone down a treat with the entire planet.

There are TOO MANY amazing bits to mention so we’ve done a little round up of some of the meanest jokes and quotes from last night's Comedy Central Roast. We’re warning you now: some of these are actually super-offensive.


    “Justin Bieber is a full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands. He sings to nine-year-olds and his hair is like a gay figure skater” - Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy)

    "Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? You are about to get f_ed harder than Orlando Bloom f_ed Selena Gomez" - Chris D'Elia

    "You haven't put out an album in three years. What are you doing? If you listen closely you can hear the sounds of One Direction fucking your fans" — Jeffrey Ross

    “You are the King Joffrey of Pop” - Jeff Ross

    “He may have turned 21, but Justin will always be a baby to me. Since babies (urinate) everywhere and never know when to shut up” - Ludacris

    "You're like our beetles. Not the band, the bugs that live in s**t" —Natasha Leggero

    “Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people” - Shaquille O’Neal

    “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a moustache before you?” - Jeff Ross

    “Justin, you’re so pretty, when inmates see your mug shot, they swipe right” - Snoop Dogg

    Justin appeared to take it all on the chin, but EVERYONE knows he went to his dressing room and sobbed afterwards.

    He’s probably still there now, all snotty, bunged up and regretful.

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