Ah, to be Katie Hopkins. To wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and know - just KNOW - that you are right about everything. To feel the full force of righteousness burning, bristling in your heart. To wonder how best to wind up the people of Great Britain today…
Well, Katie Hopkins has done it again. She claims that her Fat Club - the Facebook page set up in the wake of her TLC series on gaining, then losing, three stone - has helped nine people drop a combined total of over 25 stone.
Speaking in the Sun today, Katie said she's proud to be known as the Queen of Mean - "especially when it comes to fat people".
A good start there then, Katie.
"In fact I’ve said in the past that if I were Prime Minister I would ban obesity," she went on.
"I think overweight people are lazy and that they are bankrupting the country." Lovely.
But then she mentioned that she's proud of her little band of weight-losers - and said they're all champs.
"My point was to prove what I’ve always told fat people — just eat less, move more, and those repulsive rolls of blubber will go away. It worked.
"People identified with it because they needed someone to be honest and say, 'You’re fat because you eat too much'."
She added: "All of them took my message to heart and have changed their lives."
Do we… count that as a victory to Katie? We're so confused right now…
Katie Hopkins' worst moments EVER
Katie Hopkins - worst moments
1 of 9Katie gets back to nature
Katie had herself a little romp in public with married colleague Mark Cross. Nice one, Katie...
2 of 9Peaches Geldof owns Katie
Peaches Geldof completely owned Katie during a discussion about attachment parenting on This Morning
3 of 9Katie says that she doesn't like geographical names
...but her daughter's name is India. Nice one, Katie
4 of 9Katie tweeted: "Packet Mix have still got a chubber in their ranks. Less Little Mix. More Pick n Mix"
Katie calls Jesy Nelson a "chubber"
5 of 9Katie: YOU'RE FIRED
Katie was fired from the Met Office in 2007 before she'd even started the new job. A Met Office statement said she did not meet the required standards to complete her probationary period, and confirmed that her performance on The Apprentice and confessions about her private life were a factor in her dismissal. Nice one, Katie...
6 of 9Katie says alcoholic Paul Gascoigne should keep boozing
On Gazza's alcohol addiction, Katie said: "I don't believe what Russell Brand says about addiction. I just don't buy it. It's a behaviour. Gazza likes drinking, let him crack on. He is enjoying himself." Nice one, Katie...
7 of 9Katie gets married on TV
Katie got married to Mark Cross (the field sex guy) on Celebrity Four Weddings. Nice one, Katie...
8 of 9Katie calls Sonia Poulton a zebra in a wig
Katie remarked that her fellow This Morning guest Sonia Poulton was 'a zebra' shouting at her, she said: "I know, but when you've got a zebra in a wig shouting at you, really it's too much." Nice one, Katie
9 of 9The Katie Hopkins Company is a giant flop
Katie's company, The Katie Hopkins Company - a business and management agency - has run at a net loss since June 2009. As of 30 June 2012 it had a net worth of -£11,927, and had no declared turnover at all during the previous 12 months. Nice one, Katie...