Kim Kardashian has two actual ass-istants to rub sand on her bum for her. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Imagine being part of Kim Kardashian's entourage. Imagine the things you'd be asked to do, day in, day out. Imagine the weird indentations you'd get on your thump from taking so many pictures for her Instagram. Imagine having to avert your eyes from Kris Jenner's death-stare. Imagine not being allowed to let Bruce Jenner in from the garden, even though it's getting dark out and the poor man's only got a t-shirt on.

Anyway, it's emerged today that Kim Kardashian employs two male assistants specifically to rub sand on her butt during beach photoshoots. You might call them… ass-istants. [Pack up your things and leave. - Ed.]

During last night's episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we spotted Kim's loyal lackeys, including her makeup artist Rob Scheppy, covering her famous behind with sand before she rolled around in it for a series of official photos. You do know you could just sit in the shallows for the same effect, right Kim?

The shoot took place in Thailand's Phuket, where the Kardashian klan holidayed in April this year, and Kim Instagrammed a clip of the show to remind her followers about it.

The butt-revelation came as Brody Jenner revealed his brother Brandon once kissed Kim when they were teenagers.

In the episode, Kris teased Brody for getting turned on after he walked in on Kim doing a sexy shoot to show absent husband Kanye West, telling him: "I feel like Brody is crushing on Kim. I think you've had a crush since you were seven years old."

In a bid to deflect attention - and because this is possibly the weirdest family conversation in the history of ever - Brody turned to Brandon and said, "That was him and Kim! You're forgetting that. They kissed back in the day."

Bleak. You just can't unknow that information.

Kim Kardashian naked - every nude picture she's EVER posted