Kris Jenner REALLY wants us to know she’s best mates with Melanie Griffith – how did that happen?!

Getting crafty with Kris' old hosiery, were we?

Where would one even buy tasselled pleather cowboy boots AND a matching pleather panelled dress?

Having to be physically cut out of a pair of boots is probably a sign they're not the best buy

If Kim had a silver platter, we'd take her to be a member of a catering company

A shapeless dance sack is not appropriate red carpet attire. Sorry, Kris

We hate to break it to you Kris, but nobody over the age of 30 should be wearing double leather

We dread to think how many poor animals died only for an outfit to look this hideous

Part dress, part jumpsuit, but definite no-no

Except you won't be pulling anyone in that get-up Mrs J

We sincerely hope there's a zip at the back of that for health and safety reasons alone

Someone's hoping for an invite to Spiderman 3...

On the plus side, at least Kim won't have to change much when she gets ready for a snooze

Kim handled having oil poured all over her really well considering

We do hope Kylie's covered up under that mullet coat. We'll ignore the fishnet boots as they make our eyes hurt too much

Literally. Looks like Kim was very concerned about those puppies going astray

Alright, Kourtney. It's not bedtime yet

One of Kim's unfortunate maternity wardrobe mistakes which we just can't bring ourselves to forget

How clever of Khloe to fashion a snood out of a jumper dress

Lost a bit of your dress? Just borrow a bit of your hubby's pocket square instead

A skater boy hoodie fashioned into a dress - why not? THIS IS WHY NOT

Just the grossest colour we've ever seen basically

Literally. This top is hell personified

If a dog ate a Magnum and then threw up all over your dress, this is what it would look like

In fact, a lot of all white. And that's definitely just all white, not all right

Now we know where the inspiration for Madness' song came from

One of Kris' charity bin cast-offs?

Could a cheaper looking fabric exist if it tried?

Sergeant Kardashian reputing for duty, ice-cream in hand

When you can't find your people to hold your accessories, just make them a part of your dress

Kim accidentally stretched Kanye's jumper in the wash so decided to wear it as a skirt instead

Has a primary school class' entire box of art supples spilled over poor Kylie's dress?

That's what you should be Kourt. Arrested for unmentionable crimes to the fashion industry

Seriously, that primary school class need to be more careful with their felt tips

Who cares if it's a red carpet eh Kris? No need to change from your sunbathing stint on the shores

To be fair, if Pepsi Max paid us £5k to wear this outfit we wouldn't say no either

Cracking pins, but did you really need to wear a child's dress to show them off?

Thank God Kylie's moved onto much more fashionable ground (literally) these days

Now where's that bottle? That genie needs to climb back in, pronto

The ultimate sacrifice: wearing your husband's awful shoe designs

When your dress isn't quite short enough, just keep hitching up and nobody will notice

Seriously, what is it with the momager and leather?

Well that's certainly one way of attracting attention...

A corset from Gulliver's Travels? We think not, Kris

Not exactly the world's most flattering shade

Talking of caterers, now here's another lady who's fallen into waiting on tables

That's right Kourt, you should be cowering away in this awful shift dress

No joke, we do actually think this is a real life curtain

We see Pretty Woman was on at the weekend...

If you're going to wear something of Hugh Hefner's, you could've at least tit-taped yourself into it, Kim

Are those actual metal cuffs around Kourt's ankles? We've seen some pretty horrific sights, but we're seriously worried about her pain threshold now

Keyhole tops are like sooooo '90s

Gangster chic with leopard accessories has never been a 'thing.' Sorry KJ

Been frolicking in a lavender field, Kourtney?

We just wish that whole day was so that outfit can't penetrate our poor eyeballs anymore

We can only hope this was in response to a dare. Otherwise there is absolutely no explanation

Khloe was very happy about competing in the Irish Dancing Championships

Really. It's OK to wear clothes that fit you sometimes

Leopard jumpsuits can be cool. But not if they involve palazzo pants and a lace-up front

We must admire the fact you managed to stretch an old tiara under your boobs, Khlo

Paying homage to Scotland in this leather jacket with tartan trim. We don't think the Scots will be too thrilled, mind you...

Did Scott Disick give Kourtney his old trews? How kind

Maybe if you could just jump away, we'd never have to see that pantsuit again

Somehow we think we prefer the navy suit on Cara Delevingne

Had an accident with the sewing machine, did you?

If there's one thing we've gauged about this family, it's that they are deffo not afraid of leopard print

Lee from 911 called. He wants his jacket back

Nobody can pull off top-to-toe cream, love

Part beach babe, part Parisian artist

Been raiding Romy and Michele's costume cupboard? Surely you could've found something better than that old thing

Joining the girl scouts, are we Kylie?

And here's another way you can recycle your mum's old tights. Just in case the others weren't up your street

This is the kind of pattern we'd hope to see at the end of a kaleidoscope. Not on the red carpet

How fresh faced does Kourtney look here? Let's just focus on that and not look down...

Katrina (And The Waves) would be proud of this. Nobody else is

Turning yet another old pair of Kris Jenner's tights into a top. Such a resourceful family

Er, Kim? Your flies are undone

Putting a whole new meaning to the term 'bingo wings'

We know they're comfy, but your grandad's slippers are never meant to be seen outside

Remember that song by Jimmy Nail called Crocodile Shoes? Well erm, yeah...

We bet that photographer was a happy chappy

Has Kendall been combing the beach to make her weird shell sleeves?

Those flowers are certainly powerful. But not for the right reasons

Oi Kourt, have you got any shoes under there?

A stretchy old t-shirt simply will not suffice as an entire dress, Mrs West

At first glimpse, we actually thought Kim had suffered a serious stomach injury

So that's where all the Pink Ladies' jackets from Grease got to...

Someone's been digging out their old B*Witched albums...

How sweet! If you were going to an under-18s disco, that is

Yes you've got the part. Now go and change

Big Bird called. He wants his feathers back

What more could we ask for?

Correction: don't wear a square

Does this photo remind anyone else of being dropped off in the car park by the parents before the school disco?

We'll tell you when we'll peace out. When outfits like this don't exist anymore

Just in case you're wondering, yep this really is Kimmy K. But as to why she's dressed like a secretarial stripper, we have absolutely no idea

Fancy a bigger belt buckle, Kim?

Back in the day, KK was all about matching EVERYTHING

Those poor bosoms don't have any room to breathe! Thankfully these days they have lots more