Lord Alan Sugar got pissed at his Christmas office party and then live-tweeted it

Lord Alan Sugar: looks like a little gnome, parties like a motherf**ker. How do we know? Because he went to his Christmas office party, got drunk and then told us all about it on Twitter.

Yep: Lord Alan Sugar is you. He is us. He has singlehandedly summed up the spirit of Christmas in one poorly spelled tweet. He’s the epitome of your shambolic boss after a £14.95 roast turkey deal and an Uber home at 2.30am. And we love him for it.

Just cast your eyes over this excellent tweet, this poetic expression of the trials and tribulations of the festive period:

What is ‘atvtgect’, Alan? A TV gecko? Is that what you’re trying to say? That makes no sense, Al, and you know it.

But he persevered, because he’s a goddamn champion, and it’s Christmas, and he was not prepared to let his 4.74 million followers down.

At this point in the evening, we can safely assume he was wearing his tie around his forehead and was standing on a table, poking at his phone with a single finger and one of his eyes closed:

Really freat food, guys. We love freat food too. But what is a Queen’s Park quirky? Is it a type of cocktail? Because we’re really enjoying this mental image of Suggs propped up at a bar surrounded by very lurid booze options.

Obviously, in the name of journalistic research, we spoke to someone at the Hilton who told us that Lord Sugar’s party was “very lively” and “loud” – but “brought the atmosphere”. We all know what that means, don’t we? Alan got piiiiiiissed.

Merry Christmas, you absolute blaaady legend.

Celebrities in Christmas jumpers, because everyone's super-basic now