Love Island winners Jess Hayes and Max Morley are OVER. Love is DEAD, etc.

Guys, take a seat. We need to have a little chat. Look, this isn’t easy for us to tell you… but Love Island winners Jess Hayes and Max Morley have split. We know. We’re reeling too. Here, put your head between your knees and take some nice deep breaths until you feel better.

More news!

Yep. Love is officially dead. It died at 12.42pm on Tuesday, 25 August 2015, witnessed by Twitter. Here’s how Jess broke the news:

A mere eight hours later, she was back to plugging various brands for cash normal, bravely moving on with life in the face of terrible heartbreak.

Max’s confirmation was, if anything, even more moving.

The only thing – the ONLY thing – that consoles at this difficult time is the fact that Jess and Max still have their £50,000 prize fund to keep them warm at night.

So sob, dear children. Sob with all your might for the death of love, of goodness, of all that we hold dear to us. Sob until your body is broken and bruised on the stone cold floor. Sob until the birds are rendered silent and the bees return quietly to their hives and the fish quit moving in the sea and the sun turns itself off and implodes and that is the end goodbye

Love Island 2015 - here's a handy reminder of all the contestants, just in case you'd already forgotten