Hello and welcome to Juddering Mental Image Tuesday (J.M.I.T.), where today we are thinking about Katie Price wearing absolutely no knickers, at all. Got it? Got that mental image? There is a light breeze. The sun is on your face. Your feet are in the sand. The sea brushes lazily against your feet. Katie Price jogs by with no knickers on. Yep. There you go. Got it. Happy J.M.I.T., everybody!
Why are we thinking about Katie Price with no knickers on? Because that is the state she spends pretty much all of every day, is why — as the glamour model/businesswoman/eyebrow deity told FUBAR Radio during her second live show today, she just plain doesn’t like wearing knickers. Ever. Not even with a tracksuit, mate.
“I’m wearing no knickers,” she said, in that voice of hers. “I never wear knickers. Unless I have a short skirt on, I don’t like wearing knickers. I’m obsessed with underwear in the bedroom for a man – I have all the gear. I have so much underwear. But why do I want to wear cheese-cutter knickers? I don’t even wear knickers with a tracksuit.” ‘Cheese cutter’.
What else did Katie say during her three-hour stint behind the mixing desk? GOOD QUESTION:
On Madonna
“Think of Madonna – she can have anyone she wants. She wants a 20-year-old bouncing on her rather than a 50 year old groaning when he puts his socks on. That’s what puts me off about older men – are they energetic and can they keep it up in the bedroom?” ‘Bouncing on her’.
On Fiona Bruce
“I couldn’t be with someone if they were immature. I’m not the most intelligent but I like a good conversation. I love Antiques Roadshow.”
On mingers
[Co-host] Mark Dolan: I’ve never seen you with a minger…
Katie: Um, Look at Dwight Yorke – he didn’t score well with me. I had my vodka and coke goggles on.
On today’s news story about a physiotherapist who was struck off for fondling a customer
“Has he got magic hands? If someone touched me and I came, bring him my way!” ‘Came’.
On feet
“If there is anything perfect about me it’s my feet. They’re small smooth and perfect.” What are Dane Bowers’ like?
On surgery
“You only get one pair of eyes. What if you mess them up? Same with feet. Boobs and things like that though, surgery isn’t a problem.” Yes but how many pairs of boobs were you born with, Jordan?
On one-night stands
"I don’t do one-night stands.”
On wedding photos
“When me and Kieran got married in the Bahamas it wasn’t hot at all. It was nothing like the brochure. We still haven’t received our wedding brochure. It was a disaster.”
On Kieran
Confirming that Kieran was looking after baby Jett while she was off doing radio, Katie said: "We are normal.” Does that mean he’s still living in the outhouse then, or what? WHAT IS HAPPENING, KATIE?
On democracy
“I don’t vote. I’ve never voted. If I vote, is it really going to make a difference?” She literally ran for government in 2001.
On being a feminist role model
“I don’t try and be a feminist role model.”