Two things we at heat are very partial to: cross reality show romances and PEEN.
So we are naturally EXTREMELY INTERESTED in Marnie Simpson and Lewis Bloor's relationship. Not just because they're from Geordie Shore and The Only Way Is Essex respectively, but because Lewis has an ENORMOUS AND HAIRLESS PEEN.
It's 100% in our top five (we have a list) of favourite peens. Up there with Alex Bowen's ENORMOUS peen, and Gary Beadle's ENORMOUS parsnip.
Those of you wondering what the peen's like in action are IN LUCK, as Marnie's revealed all about their sex life – even saying that it's "life-changing".
Wowzers.
"Lewis and I are really good at the minute. Our sex life is amazing – in fact, it's life-changing. He’s the first man to ever give me a proper orgasm – and I’m 24," she wrote in her Star magazine column.
"I haven’t told him that, though! I get embarrassed and don’t want to give him a big head.
"If you saw the naked video of him I posted on Snapchat, you’ll know what one of the things I love about him is!"
Yup, indeed we do.
If you didn't see that Snapchat, you can do so by clicking HERE.
We're glad to see Marns and Lew are going strong – they give us a big old fright a while back when Marnie deleted all traces of him from her Instagram.
But it turned out it was just because they had a fight, so all good.
"It's really tough because we live so far apart," Marnie said on Loose Women.
"We had an argument and I deleted every picture of him on Instagram. I can be immature and I forget that everyone can see it."
"We're working through it."
We're so pleased. We simply couldn't cope with another Celebrity Big Brother relationship demise. Poor Stephen Bear and Chloe Khan.
:(