Those of a prudish disposition should look away now. In fact, you should probably click off heat altogether, there is a whole lot of peen on site.
No wait – come back!
You've got to learn sometime, right?
Anyway, Megan McKenna got quite the birthday treat while filming in Marbella with the TOWIE cast. A big banana topped with cream. You know, like a spunking cock. And all for Megan to lick.

Megs was presented with the dessert, thoughtfully topped with a candle, in celebration of her birthday and the whole romantic moment was captured on Kate Wright's Snapchat.
But did the thoughtful gesture top Pete Wicks haul of gifts, including an actual Rolex and a bunch of flowers that could be used as a parasol?
Depends on your point of view.
But at least Megs found the banana incident funny. She was less amused when some fans (we're calling them fans because we're not sure why else they'd be on Pete's Instagram account) who criticised her birthday pictures.
"Why don’t all you haters go fuck yourself. I smell jealousy. Bunch of wankers," she posted.
"Back off, all u do is hate. When I’m probably happier than any of you fucking haters will ever be. Now jog on.."

Haterz gonna hate.
In related news: Are Lydia Bright and Jon Clark A THING now?
Lydia was caught cuddling Jon WITH HER BUM OUT. Mixed feelings.
Not about the bum, which is lovely, but about Lyds mixing herself up with Jon who behaved like a total dicklord to Kate last season.
Also, we were rather hoping that the Jon / Gemma Collins romance that seemed to be on the cards when Jon was snapped making a late night visit to GC's pad was a go-er.
SUDDEN THOUGHT: Now GC is back in TOWIE for good, surely a Gem / Megs showdown is on the cards. Bring. It. On.