A techno version of Here Comes The Bride, a “midget” stripper in hot pants ordaining the ceremony and the bride drunkenly slurring her vows. This isn’t a dream you’ve had after demolishing a cheese board last night. It’s apparently the Miami wedding of Miley Cyrus and Patrick Schwarzenegger, according to reports in US Life & Style mag.
In a ceremony that has _Wrecking Bal_l all over it, Miley allegedly exchanged vows with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son Patrick after a two-month romance.
Picture the scene. Miley and Patrick are having fun. Plenty of drink, plenty of special cigarettes, and then Miley decides, sod it (or the American equivalent) and drags Patrick off to say: “I do.”
“During one of their nights in Miami, Miley was ready to take the partying to the next level,” an insider told Life & Style. “So she grabbed Patrick by the neck and told him, ‘Tonight’s the night – we’re getting married.’”
But where would the former Hannah Montana have the do? Why her mate’s hotel room of course. But they’re not prepared, they don’t even have any rings! “Miley whipped out rings she’s fashioned from rolling paper and again screamed, ‘We’re getting married!’” Sorted.
Miley whipped out rings she’s fashioned from rolling paper
Patrick’s response was apparently to giggle like a school kid who’s just poured salt into his teacher’s tea.
Instead of a snow-white marque and smoked salmon canapés, the wedding party headed to a reception at LIV before going to a 5am after party at Elleven.
The mind boggles at what the wedding favours could have been, but we bet there wouldn’t have been a sugared almond in sight.
Of course without arranging a marriage certificate, this wouldn’t be legal. Or a wedding. Just a big party with mates. Oh.
Whatever did or didn’t happen in Miami, Miley seems non-plussed and has now left the sunshine behind to head off into some cold snowy mountains with Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne and his girlfriend Kate Weaver.
Taking to her Instagram account, Miley wrote: “immmmmmm obsesssssessssseddd wit daaaaaaa snowwwwwww ❄ ❄ ❄ daaaaaa world is coooooooool ”
