Miley Cyrus has developed an aversion to clothes so strong that she can’t even bare to have them near her naked body, the poor lass.
Look at her there, just chilling on a beach. She’s so afraid of getting a trouser-related rash that she’s just letting it allll hang out on the sand.
Thing is, Miley, is we’ve tried the whole ‘naked on a beach’ thing. And it’s great, don’t get us wrong. It’s liberating. Freeing. To feel the wind on your bits, and the sun warming parts of you that never get sun-warmed? <’perfect’ hand emoji>
But BLOODY HELL you need to get just as liberal with that suncream. You need to reapply every half-hour – every 10 MINUTES if you’re not a risk-taker – because gurl? That sunburn will get E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.
Miley seems to think she’ll be OK with just an emoji sticker of an afro and a set of teeth, but NO Miley, NO, pixels won’t stop you blistering under the power of a deadly sun.
Anyway. Earlier this week Miley was named host of the MTV VMAs 2015 – which means there are plenty of opportunities for her NOT to wear clothing coming up.
It was at the VMAs in 2013 when Miley did that thing to and on Robin Thicke's leg that we've all desperately tried to block out for the last two years. So. Just a head's up, yeah?
Miley Cyrus’ most attention-seeking moments, featuring camel toes, naughty cakes and load of twerking
Miley Cyrus’ most attention-seeking moments, featuring camel toes, naughty cakes and load of twerking
1 of 26Miley's subtle 21st birthday cake
2 of 26Everyone's still talking about her VMAs performance with Robin Thicke
3 of 26Never mind the smoking... Miley's camel toe at the MTV VMAs ,ade our eyes water
4 of 26Her love of twerking
5 of 26Showing off her new hair for the first time
"Never felt more me in my whole life. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. My hair is attached to my head no one else's and it's going bye bye :)" she tweeted.
6 of 26Showing off some underboob in V magazine
7 of 26Any time she collaborates with photographer Terry Richardson
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12 of 26Snogging/humping stuffed animals
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14 of 26Pretty much every picture she posts on Twitter or Instagram - bar the cute pics of her dogs
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17 of 26Making daddy Billy Ray sad when she was caught smoking legal drug salvia
18 of 26Her newfound love of nipple covers
19 of 26Singing about drugs in We Can't Stop
20 of 26And basically every frame of the We Can't Stop video
21 of 26The entire Wrecking Ball video
22 of 26Showing off her bangerz on the cover of her album, Bangerz
23 of 26Halloween Miley style. Those carvings are not Disney approved.
24 of 26Dancing with dwarves
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Making us worry about being too thin by posting this snap of herself smelling fast food: "Can't eat it. So I'm just gonna smell the sh** out of it! My mouth is LITERALLY watering."
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