“So what’s,” we’re asking. “What’s SEO?”
Our SEO guy just exhales for, like, ten straight seconds.
“You mean you haven’t been using SEO?”
“Don’t even know what SEO stands for. What does it stand for?”
“It stands for— listen, that’s not the point. You’ve not been doing it?”
“No.”
“Christ.”
He looks at a graph that is just a line abruptly pointing the floor. “Christ,” he says again.
§
So yeah SEO, it turns out, is this thing you are meant to do? On the Internet? Where you sort of load phrases into your copy — like ‘BUY SEX TOYS NOW!’ and ‘HARRY STYLES HAIR SITUATION’ — and then when people Google them, a lot, which they do, they will come to your website, and then you don’t have to get fired.
And so in SEO news, Millie Mackintosh nude Millie Mackintosh naked Millie Mackintosh topless Millie Mackintosh no clothes on Millie Mackintosh nipples. And also, Millie Mackintosh has done a #ThrowbackThursday which is just her, totally naked and swinging on a rope.
The posh Tarzan was sharing a photo from a Women’s Health shoot earlier this year, where she and stars such as Kimberley Wyatt, Amanda Byram and Zoe Saldana posed nude to champion strong, healthy bodies.
“I get comments on Twitter or in interviews with people asking, ‘How do you deal with the fact people think you’re too thin?’” she said at the time. “I’m not too thin – I’m slim. I go to the gym to try to build muscle. I really try.”
She also did that thing where she called husband Professor Green ‘Stephen’, which still freaks us out to this day.
“My husband Stephen and I sometimes run or cycle together,” she said. “But he’s also good at reminding me I need to rest. I don’t want to be skinny and I don’t want a six-pack – I just want health… and some definition!”
Here are some more naked people (SEO sort of thing)
Top 100 boobs, side-boobs, nip-slips and wardrobe malfunctions

Kim Kardashi-boob
To celebrate Kim Kardashian's amazing show of side-boob we thought we'd have a look through some of the (fairly) recent celebrity flashers. Some are accidental, some not so accidental, but all are pretty LOL.BEWARE! The following gallery contains nipples. Famous nipples. You have been warned...

Lindsay Lohan: Actual boobage
Lindsay Lohan has some fairly sizable funbags so it always surprises us when we see the actress sans bra on the red carpet. Here Lohan flashed the wiorld not just a side-boob but she went the whole hog and showed nipple too.Can we just point out how pale Linds' boob is? Missed that bit with the fake tan, did we?

Rihanna: Stealth flasher
Who needs to show off a bit of side-boob when you can show your under-udders, eh?! Rihanna gave fans a treat when she flashed her lower boob at London's Wireless Festival in Hyde Park in 2013

Emma Watson: Naughty witch!
Even the pap who took this pic can't quite believe what they're seeing/snapping. The blurred focus and shaky pic is of Harry Potter star Emma Watson accidentally showing off her nude knicks the London premiere of her film. She must have been chilly-willy!

It's a bit nippy! Elizabeth Hurley
We doubt traditional Indian outfits should have added nipple thrown in but hey, it's Elizabeth Hurley

Overexposed: Lady Gaga
We feel as if we've seen Lady Gaga's naughty nipples more than we've seen our own. FACT

Uh-oh, J-Lo!
Oh dear. You don't expect this sort of malfunction from a swanky Lanvin frock, do you? Unfortunately Jennifer Lopez's nipple saw light and decided to make a run for it

Free publicity: Kelly Brook
When Kelly Brook rocked up at then-boyfriend Jason Statham's film Snatch wearing a barely-there sparkly pink dress, she got the whole world's attention. Side-boob? Tick. Bum? Tick. Crotch covered in matching pink sparkly fabric? TICK

Phil & Grant on tour: Helen Flanagan
Helen Flangan's knickers always look like they're having the best time, don't they?

Oh haiii Nicki's nip!
Why the heck should Nicki MInaj get to sing on stage and get all of the attention! Her little boob decided enough was enough and popped out fo say: "Hey!"

Strapped in: Ellie Goulding
Ellie Goulding strapped those puppies down for the GQ Awards. But we can still see 'em.

Nude In Chelsea: Lucy Watson
Made In Chelsea's Lucy Watson appears to be oblivious to the kicker flashing

Rita Phwoara!
Rita Ora shows us exactly why Calvin Harris was a fan

Braveheart: Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow is actually wearing NO underwear with this dress. NOTHING. She's a braver lady than we are...

Tits up: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
If we looked like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, we'd be going about naked everyday

Fla$ha
Why oh why did Ke$ha's mum not tell her to put her pants on before her sausage skin tights?

Sineater
All in all, this is probably one of Sinitta's tamest outfits

Wonky bum: Madonna
We're not quite sure how Madonna's bum has come to be this wonky, but we salute her for being loud and proud

Lana Del Rey-hey!
Racy lady!

Yawn: Katie Price
Katie Price, aka Jordan, could be the subject of her very own top 100 nipple slips and knicer flashes gallery. Watch this space...

Nicole Scherz-slipper
Nicole Scherzinger's REALLY keen on establishing herself as a judge on The X Factor...

Freid-erm: Freida Pinto
Poor Freida Pinto's suffering from an unfortunate angle here. Those knicks are making a bit for freedom

Getting knicked: Lady Victoria Hervey
Lady Victoria Hervey obviously hasn't heard of an invention called a slip

Breezy: Lauren Pope
All it would take is a gust of wind and Lauren Pope would be in trouble...

A bit pants: Tulisa Contostavlos
Looks like Tulisa Contostavlos was about to sing the Thong Song at the X Factor auditions...

A touch of Hollywood: Britney Spears
Britney Spears brings Hollywood with her wherever she goes...

Diana Knickers
When will these slebs learn to wear hotpants during a performance?

One day in Paris
Paris Hilton gives us a glimpse of her next flick

Lady in laceL Jaime Winstone
We know Jaime Winstone's probably trying to make some kind of fashion statement but we don't think it's working out too well. All we can focus on is the black bra and pants

We're gonna lift it, lift it higher: Pixie Geldof
Pixie Geldof's purple lacy maxi is riding up a little too high. She doesn't seem to mind though

Sacked: Lauren Conrad
A shapeless see-through sack. What a great idea for the red carpet, Lauren Conrad

Peep show: Mutya Buena
Mutya Buena considers the best way to get up without doing a full-on reveal...

Voila! Courtney Stodden
Courtney stodden's got nothing to hide

Chilly Allen
Lily Allen's see-through panelled gown unfortunately has the panel in precisely the wrong place...

What a load of pleather: Jodie Marsh
Is that a pleather thing we spy under there, Jodie Marsh? That whole outfit (or lack of) looks incredibly sweaty...

Strictly naked: Naomi Campbell
Naomi Campbell's incredible body under this Strictly-esque get-up actually has us a little bit (or a massive bit) jealous

Aisleyne Horgan-Wally
Ex Big Brother contestant Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace has made great use of her mum's old net curtains

Boob atta-xi: Alicia Douvall
Alicia Douvall confirms there's no elegant way of getting out of a taxi

There's not really any kind of excuse for Teri Harcher's frilly see-through curtain now is there?
Teri Flasher

Wiggle it, just a little bit: Kimberley Walsh
Kimberley Walsh (along with 80% of Girls Aloud) is another lady guilty of flashing her pants

Big Brothers: Makosi Musambasi
Remember Big Brother's Makosi Musambasi? You will now...

Just keep smiling: Sophie Ellis-Bextor
And nobody will notice your panties are on show, Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Apart from us. Because we notice EVERYTHING

Bright whites: Cat Deeley
If only Cat Deeley hadn't used the new Ariel whitening powder we might never have noticed. That's a lie, of course we would

Diaz-arrrster: Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz has got tangled up in a rather unfortunate fishnet, but she's still smiling. Good on you, Cam

Jessica Rabb-it
Pamela Anderson, surely you might aswell be wearing absolutely nothing?

Oh, pants! Konnie Huq
Black knickers. A mint green see-through dress. Konnie Huq obviously hasn't been reading the red carpet rules of fashion no-no's...

Can you see that thong?
Of course you flippin' well can! Tara Palmer-Tomkinson should have got a tighter maxi skirt

Flashdance
At least Beyonce's realising what's happened and is at least attempting to stop it. Which is more than we can say for the flashing culprit...

Plastic fantastic
Yeah, Tara Reid. Just pretend everything's fine and your boob is not hanging out. If you're gonna fork out for a boob job, you may as well show it off, right?

X-tina
Living up to her namesake, Christina Aguilera works that boot-ay

Ke-knickie
Lil' Kim is only one tug away from displaying Big Kim

Charlize Ther-ong
We bet it was a bloke who asked Charlize to turn round and sign that wall

Knickerla McLean
Seriously, when will these slebs learn to cover up when they're climbing out of a cab?

Sags-olutely horrific
Uh-oh, Pink! should have worn a more supportive bra. And a dress which didn't show it

Kimberley Garner
Made In Chelsea's Kimberley Garner shows off her religious ways once more

Strip tease
Cate Blanchett took her stripper audition VERY seriously

Spinning around
If we didn't know her better, it would appear to us that Kylie Minogue was hitching up her frock

Absolute pants
Michelle Collins has obviously been spending a bit too much time in the Rovers

Spicy
Emma Bunton falls prey to the over-performing on-stage bug once more...

Fancy pants
Chloe Sevigny shows off some matching sequinned hotpants to go with her hideous frock

Gillian Ander-thong
We barely (geddit?) recognise Gillian Anderson in the G-string age

Bridget Kidd?
Jodie Kidd's opted for some high-waisted Bridget Jones knickers. And opted for us all to see them too. Maybe Hugh Grant was at the 2001 Fashion Awards with her?

Nightittie
Jennifer Elison's suffering from a classic case of too small nightie

What a tit
We bet Katie Holmes wishes she was Katie-take-me-Holmes after this display

Taking Liberty
Liberty Ross remains perky throughout the evening

Windy
The Apprentice's Luisa Zissman's suffering a Marilyn moment

Sophie And-tit-ton
Celebrity Big Brother star Sophie Anderton cleverly tries to cover up But soz, Soph, you've failed

Les-tits
We are very jealous of Les Miserables actress Anne Hathaway's perkiness

Patriotic
Red, white and blue for Britain's Got Talent judge Alesha Dixon

Dreadfully on show
Back in the dreadlock days, Cheryl Cole was still all up for showing her butt!

Very coy indeed
At least Nadine Coyle's pants are a little bigger than her bandmate's

Smarty pants
Jade Jagger's at least co-ordinated her knickers to her jacket

"Thank God I had a Brazilian!"
Rafe Spell's wife and ex-Hollyoaks actress Elize du Toit thanks her lucky stars (well, waxer)

Cynthia Nipson
Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon's tit tape is failing her on the red carpet

Forgotten something?
Strapless, bra-less, strapless bra-less. Thandie Newton is suffering

On the side
An unfortunate angle doesn't do Tamara Beckwith any favours...

X-rated
When you're a supermodel, you don't even have to wear knickers apparently, as Kate Moss demonstrates

Looking back...over her shoulder
Maybe Rachel McAdams should have paid more attention to looking downwards

Just chilling
Janice Dickinson's nipple is having a well deserved rest on the side of her dress

Milla Jovovich
Milla Jovovich appears to be wearing the most uncomfortable bra of all time

Taut-ou
Audrey Tautou's looking a wee bit perky

The BIG reunion
Kerry Katona didn't disappoint her fans

Mesh-tight
TOWIE's Chloe Sims is not letting those bosoms breathe

Lift it, lift it higher
Nicole Kidman's nipple is very weirdly high up, non?

Moody boobs
Woah, Jessica Szohr is not happy about those nipples showing. Better get down to La Senza then, eh?

Give us (half) a push
Courtney Love seems to be wearing one half push-up bra and one half normal

Go to M&S!
Sharon Stone's black tee is emphasising both a camel-toe and no bra. Both of which should not be emphasised

Triple whammy
Poor Vanessa White from The Saturdays has nowhere to hide!

Holy Mendes!
Ryan Gosling is one lucky man. Check out Eva Mendes. We can't work out if this is an accident or not

Winey-boobs
Amy Winehouse (yes, every bit of her) is sadly missed

Bra-less
It's feeling a bit nippy for Meg Ryan

Cleavarrrge
Erm, that corset isn't quite doing its job, Nicola Roberts

Royal puppies!
Kate Middleton's catwalk fashion show (well this Royal pair in particular) seduced Prince William while they were at uni

Over-excited
Jumping up and down on stage might not have been the best plan, Kelly Rowland

Feeling nippy
A stray nipple has somehow managed to find its way out of Abbey Clancy's gown

Insecure
How young does Amanda Holden look here? But she should have bought a more secure dress perhaps...

Top class
If we were ever going to show off a boob, it would be in the most classy way possible like Uma Thurman

Whoops-a-booby
Keira Knightley almost (read ALMOST) gets away with it, but we can still see those nips

"See, I am a woman!"
Sharon Osbourne had a really strong point to prove, apparently

Shy and retiring
Boy, Coco Austin, that dress fits really well