Picture the scene, you’ve just laid out your outfit for the Cannes red carpet, you’ve spent countless months preparing the exact parts of your body that you want to reveal (left boob, pubic bone and right butt cheek and then you get a frantic call from your stylist. The great Cannes cover-up has begun! Apparently, fed up with seeing NSFW outfits on the illustrious red carpet, a new dress code has been issued. Risque is out, rollnecks are in. The official line? 'For decency reasons, nudity is prohibited on the red carpet, as well as any other area of the festival'. Bad news for the free the nipple movement and even worse news for these celebs who very happily bared all before everyone got a bit prudish.
Halle Berry
There is exactly zero chance that Halle Berry was wearing comfortable knickers when she walked the Met gala red carpet this year. Why? Well, because she wasn’t wearing knickers at all! She said of her La Quan Smith dress, “He designed a gown that rose to meet the depth and strength of this year’s theme” It also worked to the strengths of her phenomenal figure. And, c’mon let’s get real, if anyone else boasts a pubic region that incredible at 58 – well we wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to parade it around! But Halle’s nothing if not compliant and when it came to attending Cannes this year she admitted to having to change her outfit. Halle told reporters, “Of course, I'm going to follow the rules, so I had to make a pivot. But the nudity part, I do think, is probably also a good move.”
Rita Ora
When Rita Ora’s lady garden was covered by just a couple of perfectly placed fabric flowers, it turned way more than just heads. Her otherwise sheer dress was the talk of the 2024 Met Gala after party and for good reason, she looked sensational of course, but she looked, well mostly completely naked. The songstress, once famously saying, “Every girl, without fail, loves to look at a sexy picture of herself” . We’re thinking she might’ve had a photo of this outfit made into wallpaper.
Cara Delevigne
Sometimes you just get a really great pair of trousers and it feels unnecessary to upstage them by adding a top. That’s certainly how Cara felt when she decided to forego upper body clothing at the 2022 Met Gala. There are unconfirmed and totally made-up-by-us reports that she said, “I’ll do a necklace and nipple coverings but only in spray-on gold and that is final, now pass me the paint can pronto!” In 2014, she told W magazine "I used to love being naked. My parents would have to dress me because I'd just run around the supermarket and take off all my clothes. It was fun. Freedom. Liberation!" She started as she means to go on.
Rose McGowan
Back before some of the latest naked dress wearing whipper snappers were even born, Rose McGowan was blazing a trail for all the perfectly proportioned celebs showcasing their bits and bobs. At the 1998 MTV video music awards where she accompanied then boyfriend Marilyn Manson, she wore an iconic beaded dress with just a teeny tiny black thong underneath. She was, in her own words making a “political statement not a fashion statement” She said, “It was a big middle finger to pretty much everybody. It was a reclamation of my own body” You go girl, you and your perfect posterior!
Megan Thee Stallion
Now, there’s not much that ‘Thee Stallion can do wrong in our book and her Vanity Fair Oscars Party look did nothing to change that. In fact, we were as green as her dress with envy over her ability to wear an outfit that had completely decided to lose its top half. No doubt running off just leaving the trail of feathers in its place, she did boast green nipple coverings that even the hulk would be envious of. The Savage rapper said of her jaw-dropping look, “I just really wanted to give like, ‘She’s baring it all at Vanity Fair.'”. Mission accomplished, mission fully accomplished.
Rihanna
It was 2014 when Rihanna wore a Swarovski crystal-covered gown to the CDFA fashion awards. We’re using the term ‘covered’ because there were exactly 216,000 crystals sewn into the sheer dress. But it takes more than that to cover Rihanna, no we mean literally, because you could still see straight through it. But quite rightly she told reporters, “You will never be stylish if you don’t take risks”, adding, “Do my t*ts bother you? They're covered in Swarovski crystals, girl.” She would later say of her outfit that while she loved the look, wearing a thong that wasn't bedazzled was, “ the only regret I have in my life.”
Hunter Schafer
When Euphoria star Hunter Schafer hit the Vanity Fair Oscars party red carpet in 2023, she was wearing a single white feather as a bandeau top and frankly if the wind blew, she might’ve found herself totally starkers above the waist. Luckily for her, the weather and the fashion editors were on her side, all hailing her look ethereal and stunning. We don’t disagree, and let’s be honest we all know angels do not wear cocktail dresses. The great news for us mere mortals is that this no-doubt extortionately expensive outfit can be yours for free once you identify a swan who might be willing to loan you a feather they’ve outgrown. You are welcome.