The Academy Awards are on this weekend. Which means that all the big celebs will gather together, practice their best IDGAF that I didn’t win this award face, and pray that nothing goes horribly wrong like last year when they announced the wrong winner for Best Film.
Even if none of that sounds particularly up your street, the awards are worth going to purely for the absolutely ridiculous goody bags they all get given. This year, they're worth a frankly ridiculous £100,000!
This year’s haul includes a phobia relief training session, worth £350, some sort of underarm sweat patches, which sound a bit weird, and a luxurious 7-day Hawaii trip.
Sidenote: how the hell are they gonna fit all this in a bag?
Here is the full Oscars goody bag 2018 list:
· Edible jewellery from Chocolatines
· Underarm sweat patches from Dandi Patch
· Lemonade-flavoured moonshine from Southern Wicked Lemonade
· A 12-night Tanzania trip for two from International Expeditions
· A 7-day Hawaii trip at Koloa Landing Resort in Poipu
· A stay at Avaton Luxury Villas Resort in Halkidiki, Greece
· A week-long spa retreat at Golden Door
· Pepperface, a lightweight pepper spray
· Chao Pinhole Gum Rejuvenation dental procedure
· 23andMe genetic service
· A Luxura Diamonds "conflict-free" necklace
· NeverMissed dating app, available pre-launch
· A 10,000 bowl donation to an animal shelter of their choice and bags of pet food from Halo, Purely For Pets
· MZ Skin firming eye cream and golden treatment mask
· A lifetime supply of Oxygenetix foundation
· Locally-grown oranges, courtesy of delivery app EpiFruit
· A memoir by Esther Fairfax about her mother, Lotte Berk, innovator of Barre
· Healing Saint's skin serum and follicle stimulant
· Jarritos, the Mexican soda
· 10 sessions with personal trainer Alexis Seletzky
· A one-year supply of ALLÉL's skincare program
· Bangarang's Positive Cube, a wooden box filled with 199 cards of positive action and quotes
· Colour-changing lipstick from Blush & Whimsy
· Charleston & Harlow soy candles
· Danish cookbook, Cook Yourself Happy
· Curlee Girlee children's book
· Organic, vegan and small-batch Delicacies lollipops
· Face It and Eye Love It facewash and makeup removers
· Happiest Tee's American-made T-shirts
· Weight loss supplement Hydroxycut Organic
· 10-piece Inception of Beauty makeup set
· Justice for Vets symbolic coin
· An 18-minute phobia-relief session with Kalliope
· LE CÈLINE eyelashes products
· Liwu jewelry from Ireland
· Look Fabulous Forever makeup specially formulated for older women
· My Magic Mud toothpaste, which combines activated coconut shell charcoal and bentonite clay
· M.Y.O cosmetic clutch
· 99 Creative WOWs creativity kit
· Nurse Gigi skin rejuvenation procedures
· Oumere anti-aging skincare
· Paiva Aloe cleanser and mask,
· PETA's cruelty-free bath bombs
· 2 gourmet pretzel gift boxes from Posh Pretzels
· A.I. beauty startup PROVEN's personalised skincare products
· Quincy Herbals detox tea
· Quip's oral care kit
· Commissioned work from Reian Williams Fine Art
· Rouge Maple syrup
· Safi Kilima bracelet with oval tanzanite stones
· Shop Modern Innovations' levitating bluetooth speaker
· The Green Garmento's multi-use Gigantote
· Vaya's Tyffyn lunchboxes
· Totalee hair care products
· Wetsleeve on-the-go hydration sleeve
· Youthblast anti-aging supplement and 24k Gold Facia