UPDATE: We know who the naked guy is!
Blogger Portis Wasp got in touch to say: "I can confirm that the naked man in the image with her is model Chad Buchanan. The shot is from Paris' recent Odda Magazine cover story."
Good work, Portis! And, er, if you happen to know Chad's number, do let us know, yeah?
Paris Hilton. Remember her? Remember when she used to be a thing? Remember a time when she was the queen reality TV star, before Kim Kardashian outdid her in the sex tape/getting naked stakes?
Yep, well, Paris Hilton is STILL a thing, in the sense she's still around and posting Instagram snaps of her dogs, her bags and dancing in a skirt at Coachella. She's also about to release some music. Yeah, we forgot she used to do that as well. Maybe that was for the best.
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Anyway, it seems that in between posting Instagram pictures of all those things above, Paris Hilton almost accidentally snapped some mystery man peen, while taking a picture of herself surrounded by imaginary - not sure why we needed to clarify that - cartoon dogs.
Why?
We don't know. The snap is wedged between an onslaught of pictures of Paris having a bloody lovely time at Coachella. She danced in a big skirt, went to see her mate's photo tent thing and even did a DJ set. Yeah, we forgot she used to DJ too.
But what's up with the naked man? He looks like he's just hopped out of the shower, not that Paris is in the slightest bit interested, as she's preoccupied with her little Pomeranian ball of fluff. And who can blame her. It looks SO CUTE.
Her followers instantly began to question what the heck Paris had been up to, with one clarifying for everyone who hadn't noticed the naked man, that there was indeed a naked man in the picture. "Why is there a naked man in the background?" they typed inquisitively.
Another tapped in: "Yeah !! Naked hot guy in the back means she cares more for animals than she does for guys. Bad b."
While another just wrote: "This is why I like her lol."
Still, who is the naked man? Are you the naked man? If you are THE naked man (and not just A naked man), then please get in touch with heat@heatmag.com. Tell us, why are you half-naked in the background of Paris Hilton's picture? And also, kudos on matching your towel to her pink dog.