Blonde 2004 person Paris Hilton spent $230,000 having a fun time at a bar this week.
If you’re on Fresher’s Week at the moment, or just live in the north, you might be thinking: ‘Wow. I bet she bought a lot of jelly shots and/or pints of bitter’. And you’d be wrong, because Paris Hilton doesn’t drink that piss. But let’s do that maths anyway, shall we?
MATHS
Paris Hilton’s $230,000 bar tab, in real money: £141,000 Number of greasy, greasy-ass watered-ass down-ass tequila shots served with a tiny packet of salt and a weak, old lime slice at the Fresher’s Week event of your choice in this country this week that you could buy with that: 141,000
Number of bleak warm pints of northern bitter you could buy in any pub north of Watford right now with that money while a man in a flat cap who is nursing a bag of crisps talks to you loudly and tells you his own personal ranking, from 1 to 200, of the best breed of dog, with a Lurcher being at the top and a Poodle being at the bottom: 70,500
END OF MATHS
So, on the whole, Paris Hilton’s night of reportedly quaffing $100,000-a-bottle champagne, padded out with Cristal, Patrón and non-awful tequila in a trendy New York club sounds slightly more fun. It’s not clear whether Paris paid the bar tab in full herself, but she did leave a $47,000 tip (28,000 vodka shots, 16,000 northern pints), so that’s nice.