After we’d finished drowning in all the close-ups of Cillian Murphy’s blue eyes… (Sorry, we went again for a second there…) this is what those cheeky Peakys managed to cram into just one hour...
There was actual Peaky Blindering
Last week, the lads burnt down an Italian restaurant, which didn’t bode well for harmonious inter-mob relations. Sure enough, the threatened Peaky/Changretta family turf war kicked off in right royal style.
After an unsuccessful tea party in a railway yard ended in various threats to life from miffed Changretta patriarch Vincente, loose cannon John Shelby hid in a coat stand (Yes. He did) and jumped out on his son, Angel Changretta, who’s been ‘courting’ Shelby secretary Lizzie.
Not content with beating the man up, John demonstrated exactly where the gang gets its name from, taking Angel’s eye out by way of millinery. Harsh.
This was swiftly followed by a bit more arson and violence, just to make sure things went from really, really bad to so much worse.
Paddy Considine made his debut
You don’t expect a man in a dog collar to be a total wrong ’un, (although when he turns up to a party for orphans with an MP, you do start to worry), but Father John Hughes is B-A-D news.
While the priest seemed nice enough in his first meeting with Tommy, anyone who’s seen Paddy’s turn in Dead Man’s Shoes will know just how calmly terrifying he can be.
It wasn’t long before he was flexing his super-villain muscles by bringing half of Scotland Yard round to nick Tommy, leaving scary death notes under little Prince George-alike Charles' pillow and threatening him with a drooling Doberman.
Luckily, Tommy seems to be some sort of Brummie Cesar “Dog Whisperer” Millan, so the mutt wasn’t a problem, but he’s clearly very rattled by this new enemy.
Polly got indecently propositioned
Fearsome Polly invited Love-struck Ruben round to commission a portrait. But when she wandered into her living room wearing a sassy gown, Ruben momentarily lost the power of speech before regaining his senses enough to invite her for an evening session at his studio.
Oh yes, Ruben? “Pop round look at your etchings”, is it? Once again, Polly sent him off with a flea in his ear and an itch in his…
The ending was SHOCKING
And we mean SHOCKING in capital letters. The trouble started when Tommy was paid for some nefarious Russian business with a sapphire the size of a boat.
Apparently smuggled into the country via a Countess’ intimate arena (that’s one way to avoid excess luggage charges, but we wouldn’t recommend it next time you fly EasyJet), we couldn’t help but wince when Tommy placed said sapphire, now made into a necklace, around wife Grace’s neck. We seriously doubt she’d be as enamoured with it if she knew where it’d been.
But it wasn’t enough that she was floating about her charity foundation wearing something that had been up a Lady’s hoo-ha. Not one minute after Duchess Tatiana announced that the jewel was cursed, a gunshot rang out and Grace went down like J-Law on a red carpet.
WTF, Peaky? That was VERY naughty indeed.