President Obama and Harry Styles have HAD SEX, according to this totally true and not-at-all insane news report

THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT A DRILL (it is)

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by Emmeline Saunders |

Harry Styles has been in the Oval Office. More importantly, Harry Styles has been in Barack Obama’s Oval Office. Do you get what we mean here? Do you see what we’re driving at? Harry Styles has enjoyed Congress with the POTUS. Harry Styles has received the head of state with great satisfaction. Do you understand what we are trying to say.

Yeah, there’s this mad tabloid in the States called the National Examiner, you might’ve heard of it, and this week it’s claiming there was some kind of torrid love affair with plenty of sweaty presidential sex between the 20-year-old One Direction singer and the 53-year-old most powerful man in the world.

According to its ACTUAL FRONT COVER STORY, Barack and Michelle Obama’s marriage is “A SHAM” and the Prez has actually been day-dreaming over our home-grown Hazza.

Presumably his two teenage girls Malia and Sasha – who are noted Directioners – are totally on board with their dad coming into their 1D-clad rooms and just standing there sighing.

Oh, and Michelle either had no clue about her husband’s secret affairs or decided to turn a blind eye to them because we all know she’s the real power behind the throne.

So yeah. Forget Louis and Harry, AKA Larry – 2015 is going to be allllll about Obarry.

Celebs with triple nipples - from Harry Styles to Lily Allen

Gallery

Celebs with triple nipples - from Harry Styles to Lily Allen

Harry Styles
1 of 8

OK - so, technically we're lying about this one, because Harry doesn't has three nipples. He actually has FOUR!He said: "They're a bit smaller than the other ones... I don't look like a cow or anything."

Lily Allen
2 of 8

Lily's certainly not shy about her triple nipple. She even got it out when she was guest presenting the Friday Night Project.Oh, and apparently it "goes hard when you touch it".Nice...

Mark Wahlberg
3 of 8

Mark's previously said that his extra nipple is "the size of an infant's nipple"

Carrie Underwood
4 of 8

We found out about Carrie's nubbin in her American Idol audition. But she'd had it removed long before Simon Cowell asked her about it

Bill Paxton
5 of 8

The Titanic star said of his extra nipple: "I've got three nipples. Three. No one knows about that, but no one's ever asked me before. I guess it's about time I got it off my chest."

Joanna Krupa
6 of 8

Reality star Joanna tried to convince herself that her nubbin "looked just like a mole" but her doctor informed her it was in fact a third nipple

Tilda Swinton
7 of 8

Narnia actress Tilda insists that she's "proud" of her "witch's mark"

Chandler Bing
8 of 8

Poor ol' Chandler...

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