It was always going to be a milestone birthday for former party Prince Harry, who started his thirties a single, senior working royal, and ended them a married father-of-two with a new life in California.
His life has changed beyond all recognition in a decade, but his 40th celebrations were made even more momentous last week by the surprise well-wishes he received via social media from his estranged father and brother. Taking to their respective Instagram pages, King Charles and Prince William, together with Queen Camilla and the Princess of Wales, paid tribute to the self-exiled prince. First, the royal family’s official social media page wrote, ‘Wishing The Duke of Sussex a very happy 40th birthday today!’ alongside a beaming picture of Harry, which was taken during a visit to the start-up Dogpatch in Dublin in 2018, when he was still a working royal. Then, Prince William and Kate Middleton shared the same post to their stories, writing their own message alongside it with, ‘Wishing a Happy 40th Birthday to the Duke of Sussex.’
The messages may have been short and sweet, but they were mighty in meaning. After all, it’s not protocol to publicly wish non-working members of the royal family a happy birthday – which is why neither Harry nor Meghanhave, in a post-Megxit world, received celebratory nods from the palace. What’s more, relations between Harry and his estranged family are said to be enduringly frosty, with the two brothers reportedly no longer on speaking terms – and the upcoming October release of Harry’s incendiary memoir, Spare, in paperback making things even frostier. So, by breaking with convention and commemorating Harry’s birthday, was the palace making it clear that the door is now open for a Sussex peace deal?
If they were, there might be one snag – and that’s where the Duchess of Sussex fits into the picture, quite literally. No sooner had the royal family shared the photo of Harry last week, than eagle-eyed fans noticed his wife Meghan, who was next to him in the ‘original’ photo, was missing.
It has since emerged that two versions of the image exist. One with Meghan sitting next to Harry and one without, and both versions were released by the photographer in 2018. Naturally, there’s no suggestion the palace chose with any intent but, according to insiders, that hasn’t stopped the Duchess of Sussex from taking it personally. By seeming to cut her out for whatever reason, we’re told she’s taking it as a not-so-subtle message. And having long felt like she’s persona non grata, this has made her even more convinced that – as far as reconciling with Harry’s family – she’s still well out of the frame.
‘This has not exactly been a cause for celebration in Meghan’s eyes,’ says an insider close to the Sussexes, who reportedly celebrated Harry’s 40th birthday at their Montecito mansion with their children, Archie, five, and Lilibet, three, as well as Meghan’s mother Doria and friends. ‘She’s happy for Harry because she knows how much this means to him, but she’s understandably upset, too. She thinks it could be sending the message that it’s Harry they’re ready to forgive. It seems obvious they’d take him back in a heartbeat and, as usual, Meghan’s the one in the wrong. Picking an image without her in it felt symbolic and like a snub – whether intended or not – and by all accounts, she’s fuming about it. She refuses to be pushed out like this.’
It's fair to say that the last few months have been a time of soul-searching for Harry, as he’s come to face the repercussions of his life choices. Having been gung-ho in his anti-palace stance in the wake of his and Meghan’s decision to step down as senior royals – continually lashing out at his family in interviews – he’s visibly quietened his complaints in 2024. This, of course, has come a time when Buckingham Palace has been dealing with King Charles and Kate Middleton’s cancer diagnoses.
Earlier this month, in an emotional video, Kate announced that she’d finally completed her preventative chemotherapy treatment and was slowly getting back to royal duties, joining her father-in-law, who has also returned to a full working schedule. As heat has previously told you, Harry was devastated to learn about Charles and Kate’s cancer from afar. Though he was told by Charles personally, he heard about Kate via the news, like everyone else, and – despite reaching out several times – has been reportedly forced to wait for public updates. All this, we’re told, has made him yearn for the life – and people – he left behind.
At the same time, Harry’s reached out to trusted former aides to seek advice about repairing royal bridges. He’s apparently realised life is too short for a full-blown fall-out and, with his life in the US not proving to be the runaway success he’d hoped it would be, insiders say he’s vying to spend more time in the UK. To that end, having made a very quick visit last month to attend the funeral of his late uncle, he’s now scheduled to attend the WellChild awards in London on 30 September – with hopes among his inner circle that this might just get the ball rolling for a royal reunion.
But now, with Meghan feeling the sting of a very public snub, it seems like the pair have taken two steps forward and one step back. The duchess, for her part, hasn’t returned to the UK since Queen Elizabeth’s funeral in 2022, and apparently has no desire to do so again. And even if she were warming to the idea, Harry’s birthday posts have cooled her right off.
‘It’s just solidified her feelings that she’s not wanted here, and never has been,’ says our source. ‘It feels as though there’s a coordinated effort to undermine her marriage. The irony is that it’s only making her and Harry stronger because, as happy as he is to be getting this show of love and support, he’s deeply wounded that his wife is being shown this disrespect. It’s the exact same situation he railed against before he stepped down, so it’s a pretty bittersweet moment.’
What makes it all the more bittersweet, we’re told, is that the palace’s birthday messages were driven by Harry’s once cherished sister-in-law. Kate and Harry have always had a special bond and, according to insiders, it’s been a particular source of anguish for the princess to see his and William’s relationship fracture beyond repair. Having been focused on her recovery, the fact that she’s now feeling better and getting back to royal life has allowed Kate to add more to-dos to her list – the big one being a Wales-Sussex truce.
‘Kate told William, in no uncertain terms, that this is not the time for resentment,’ we’re told. ‘They needed to show the world that love and family are front and centre of their values, but more importantly she wanted Harry to have this message on his big day.’
Still, with Meghan so visibly ignored, any attempts of a peace deal are still very surface level. Pictures may suggest there’s union across the pond, but, beneath it all, there’s still a lot of hurt, resentment and bad blood. And that will remain, we’re told, until Meghan is back in the picture.