Robin Williams: his 10 funniest quotes and best moments

Here are ten of his best quotes and stories...

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by Joel Golby |
Published on

Stars, friends and fans alike all paid tribute to Robin Williams after the news broke that the 63-year-old had been found dead at his California home.

As well as his iconic, define-a-generation film roles, Williams was an accomplished stand-up and unnervingly wise social commentator – and he had an anecdote or two up his sleeve, too.

We remember Robin Williams best quotes and most iconic film moments:

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Robin Williams: 10 funniest quotes and best moments

On working on the set of Mrs Doubtfire1 of 10

On working on the set of Mrs Doubtfire

“One time in makeup as Mrs Doubtfire, I walked into a sex shop in San Francisco and tried to buy a double-headed dildo. Just because. Why not? And the guy was about to sell it to me until he realised it was me – Robin Williams – not an older Scottish woman coming in to look for a very large dildo and a jar of lube. He just laughed and said, "What are you doing here?" and I left. Did I make the purchase? No.* Did I walk away with a really good story? *Yes.”

u201cI think I wore it better!u201d2 of 10

“I think I wore it better!”

On Kim Kardashian’s Doubtfire-esque Met Gala 2013 Dress

On heaven3 of 10

On heaven

When asked what he’d like to hear God say to him if he got to heaven, Williams told Inside Actor's Studio: “There’s seating near the front. The concert begins at 5:00. It’ll be Mozart, Elvis, and anyone of your choosing. Or if Heaven exists, it would be nice to know there’s laughter. That would be a great thing, to hear God go, ‘Two Jews walk into a bar…’”

On divorce4 of 10

On divorce

“Ah yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning ‘to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet’.”

On his two ex-wives5 of 10

On his two ex-wives

“I get on fabulously with my exes – now we’re not together any more. And they always appreciated my body hair, which was a plus, obviously.”

On the experimental heart surgery that saw him fitted with a cowu2019s heart valve6 of 10

On the experimental heart surgery that saw him fitted with a cow’s heart valve

“I can go to the toilet standing up now, which is nice, but I can’t eat meat, because I’ve become one of them, so it would be cannibalism.”

On Aladdin7 of 10

On Aladdin

Explaining that the role of the Genie was originally meant to be very small, Williams said: “Initially they came in and I was just doing the scripted lines and I asked 'Do you mind if I try something?' and then 18 hours of recording later, they had the Genie. I just started playing, and they said, ‘Just go with it, go with it, go with it.’ So I improvised the character. I think that in the end, there were something like 40 different voices that I did for that role.” So much of the Genie’s part was improvised that the Academy Awards rejected the film’s bid for the ‘Best Adapted Screenplay’ nomination.

On biology8 of 10

On biology

“God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”

On being a big kid9 of 10

On being a big kid

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

On life10 of 10

On life

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”

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