Take off all your clothes and lump them in a pile. Borrow a lighter from a colleague and carefully set fire to your desk. Get yourself into the foetal position and stay there, forever, because Russell Brand has ruined everything for everyone for ever more.
The comedian decided to be uncharacteristically unfunny by jumping on the Parklife bandwagon today, a full week after people first thought it would be vaguely humorous to tweet ‘PARKLIFE!’ at him.
Like, seven whole days have passed. What on earth has he been doing all that time? Sure, there’s been that quite sinister Anonymous protest he joined at Buckingham Palace. And he’s been talking to Noel Gallagher about doing a Roll With It re-record. But still, those things take up, what, an evening? Maybe eight hours, tops?
And now he’s dragged the Rubberbandits into this cringeworthy affair, too. YOU JUST COULDN’T LEAVE IT, COULD YOU RUSSELL?
Anyway, here it is:
GALLERY: The day in pictures
The Day in Pictures
1 of 13Monday: Beyonce
Bey showing of her hot body...the curtains do look abit wobbly though?!
2 of 13Monday: Prince William
Wills is enjoying the Gwernyfed Ladies 2015 calendar
3 of 13Monday: Khloe, Kim & Kylie
Khloe is showing a lot of leg for French Montana's birthday
4 of 13Monday: David Beckham
Becks at a football training event in China
5 of 13Tuesday: Hunger Games premiere
The Hunger Games ladies looking super glam at last nights London premiere of Mockingjay - Part 1
6 of 13Tuesday: Kim and Kanye
Little Nori is an artsit, Kim proudly reveals the custom bag that North gave to her as a birthday gift.
7 of 13Tuesday: TOWIE boys
Dan Osborne showing the boys his favourtie routine.
8 of 13Wednesday: Towie Boys
The towie boys performing a full monty routine for the big finale!
9 of 13Wednesday: Hugh Grant
Hugh Grant casually holding a lamb
10 of 13Wednesday: Katie Price
Where does she get these outfits from?!
11 of 13Thursday: Kim Kardashian West & North West
North you foot is meant to go in the sandal not on top...
12 of 13Thursday: Jennifer Lawrence
Careful J-law your fans are after you!
13 of 13Thursday: Jennifer Aniston
Jen An looking beautiful with a flash of red for the Horrible Bosses film Premiere