Sarah Harding: ‘I want to make the most of every second’

When Sarah Harding announced the tragic news that she had advanced breast cancer last August, she said she was doing her “very best to keep positive” and was undergoing gruelling weekly chemotherapy to try to fight the disease, which had spread to other parts of her body.

Then, last week, she released her autobiography Hear Me Out, in which she tragically revealed that it was unlikely she’d make it to next Christmas, as she now has tumours on her lungs and brain. And while the prognosis has obviously devastated Sarah and her friends and family, she has said she is determined to make the most of the time that she has left.

“Nothing is certain any more,” Sarah said in a recent interview – the first time she had spoken publicly, apart from a few updates for fans on social media, since her diagnosis. “I’m just grateful to wake up every day and live my best life, because now I know just how precious it is.”

In the book, Sarah says that it was at the end of 2019 when she first noticed a lump in her breast and, after an ultrasound, she was told to schedule an MRI scan. However, she never got the chance to, as COVID-19 struck and the country went into lockdown, so she put off her appointments. Now, one of the main reasons she has written the book is so that nobody else does the same.

“Writing about my cancer, I found myself thinking, ‘Do I want everyone to know this?’” she told The Times. “But I kept thinking that if there was a chance just one person who read my story decided to get checked and was treated in time, then it was worth it… And writing the book has been cathartic. It’s made me realise I’ve had a full life and been able to achieve things the teenage me could only ever have dreamt of.”

As well as her cancer, Sarah speaks openly about her childhood, love life, partying days, and her time with Girls Aloud. Formed in 2002 for the TV talent show Popstars: The Rivals, the band – which also comprised Cheryl (then Tweedy), Kimberley Walsh, Nadine Coyle and Nicola Roberts – became one of Britain’s most successful-ever girl groups, enjoying chart success all over the world. But there were always rumours of in-fighting between them, with Cheryl, Kimberley and Nicola on one side, and Sarah and Nadine on the other. Sarah admits that she always felt like an outsider, adding that she got on best with Nadine, but confesses they hadn’t really seen each other since they finished their farewell tour in early 2013.

But since her illness, the girls have reconnected and, last summer, they met up at Soho Farmhouse, despite Sarah not feeling her best, because of the medication she was on. In the book, Sarah writes that she was very bloated from the steroids she was taking, and the chemo had caused her eyelashes to fall out, making her worry that her bandmates would be more glamorous than her. The girls all stayed together in a big lodge on the farm, had Japanese food delivered, and relaxed and reminisced about old times.

Sarah also recalls them watching their 2006 reality show Girls Aloud: Off the Record, and cringing about how they behaved. That time together brought them all closer again, with Nadine and Cheryl even writing segments for Sarah’s book.

CHECK OUT Girls Aloud - where are they now?

All of the girls have supported Sarah and her autobiography on social media, and a source tells heat that her illness has put everything into perspective. “The girls realised that whatever differences they had were ridiculous,” we’re told. “It’s made them see what’s important, and they all just want to make the most of the time they’ve got left with Sarah. They achieved so much over the years, and looking back on everything they did has been so therapeutic. They’re all so proud of Sarah and how she’s handling this all, but obviously there’s been a lot of tears.”

Cheryl, 37, has admitted that while they didn’t always see eye-to-eye, she always had an admiration for Sarah, and says, “For all her wildness and craziness, there’s not a malicious or nasty bone in her body.” She also said that while she’s trying to be strong for Sarah, it can get too much. “Mostly, I try to keep my emotions in check, but on one FaceTime call with her the other day, I couldn’t hold it in any more,” Cheryl wrote in the book. “She relayed some terrible news she’d had that day and I lost it and started crying. I tried to move the phone out of the way, so she couldn’t see my face, but she knew what was happening. The mad thing is it ended up with Sarah comforting me.”

Throughout the years, Sarah was famed for being a party girl, and she talks about her wild days, and the crazy times she had, but she also writes about her time in rehab. Her love life was also just as eventful, and she speaks openly about her boyfriends, admitting not making it work with ex-fiancé Tom Crane is one of the biggest mistakes of her life and blaming herself for the downfall of their relationship.

They began dating in 2007, and got engaged in 2010, but split less than a year later, and Sarah believes she would’ve had children if they had stayed together. But now her situation means that she will never get the chance to become a mother and she admits she cries thinking about the life she will never have.

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But Sarah – who has ruled out having radiotherapy as she doesn’t want to lose her hair, after losing her breast – says she’s trying to focus on the positives. Having moved back in with her mum Marie in Manchester, she’s now cramming in as much fun as she can.

“I’m trying to live and enjoy every second of my life, however long it might be. I am having a glass of wine or two during all this, because it helps me relax,” she writes. “I’m sure some people might think that’s not a great idea, but I want to try to enjoy myself. I’m at a stage now where I don’t know how many months I have left. Who knows, maybe I’ll surprise everyone, but that’s how I’m looking at things. Right now, I’m trying to find joy whenever and however I can. It’s definitely spending quality time with Mum and seeing my friends whenever I can. Life has got so much smaller, and my priorities have changed, but the other Sarah Harding is still in there somewhere, too, trust me. Given half a chance, I know she’d be back with a vengeance, dancing on tables and laughing and joking with everyone. I think what I’d really like to do is to see everyone – all my friends, all together. One last time. Then I’d throw a great big f--k off party as a way to say thank you and goodbye. Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

Sarah’s book Hear Me Out is out now (Ebury Publishing, £20). heat has made a donation to Sarah’s chosen charity, The Christie Charitable Fund.

Read more in the latest issue of heat magazine – OUT NOW.