Sir Christopher Lee – AKA SARUMAN – has released a new METAL CHRISTMAS SINGLE at the age of 92

We all know Saruman is the most metal wizard of them all. If you were labouring under the misapprehension that Dumbledore was, in fact, the most metal wizard of them all, you are wrong. You have no concept of metal. Did Dumbledore ever team up with Sauron in order to later betray him in the quest for the One Ring? No, he did not. Instead he banged on about love and friendship and that, which is why Saruman is the most metal wizard of them all.

Anyway, listen, the reason we’re even having this discussion right now – and seriously, you need to shut up about Dumbledore because you have NO IDEA – is because Saruman (aka Sir Christopher Lee on his days off) has released a metal Christmas single. META-L.

The 92 year old – who’s actually several hundred years old if we’re counting in wizard years – has made our Christmas with his new offering, Darkest Carols, Faithful Sing, which is a metal take on Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. INCREDIBLE.

Speaking to reporters about his track, he said it was “light-hearted, joyful and fun”, which is EXACTLY what we want from our heavy metal artists.

“It’s a band singing on how metal should be played, the effect it has on the band and its listeners. At my age, the most important thing for me is to keep active by doing things that I truly enjoy,” he added.

“I don’t know how long I am going to be around, so every day is a celebration and I want to share it with my fans.”

YES MAAATE your heat reporter attempts to make devil horns with fingers

Last Christmas, Sir Christopher got to no.18 in the Billboard chart with his other festive-themed tune Jingle Hell, so we’ve got high hopes for this latest one.

Prints out picture of Dumbledore’s face, punches it and runs away

METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

Ooh look, it's all the Hobbit cast before and after their makeovers. That's nice, isn't it