Stephanie Davies writes emotional poem revealing its ‘nerve-wracking’ to open up

She's documented her struggles on social media

Stephanie Davis

by William Marriott |
Updated on

Hollyoaks actress Stephanie Davis has opened up about her mental health struggles in a honest video.

She posted the clip to her Instagram, which shows her reciting a poem she has written about "staring death in the eye" and suicidal thoughts.

Speaking to her followers, the 26-year-old, who shares son Caben with ex Jeremy McConnell, said, "When you’ve looked death in the eyes, nothing ever feels the same. How do you describe that crying side from the screaming inside of your brain?"

"When I was asked how to describe it, the only thing I could say, staring into the abyss, someone’s flicked off a switch, no more light and no more bright days.

"How helpless it feels to be helpless. How painful it feels when those there don’t care. How could they not help me when all I needed was for them to be there?

"To scream out in pain, to cry uncontrollable tears, to hurt myself so much, my life, I didn’t care to be here. To get to that point of thinking that life isn’t for me anymore, that’s a scary place to get to, one I hope nobody has to endure."

Check out: Next week's Hollyoaks spoilers

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Hollyoaks spoilers: James Nightingale KICKED OUT slider

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The week begins with James regretting his actions following last week. Romeo continues to squat at the Maaliks house.When Peri finds him, he's quick to tell her he doesn't want any help before confessing that James hit him.

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The next day Peri returns and brings Romeo some breakfast and tries to encourage him to make things right with his dad before it's too late.

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After Peri spots James grabbing Marnie's arm, she tells Romeo that she completely understands why he moved out. Marnie is left shocked when she discovers what James did.

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Marnie arrives at the Maalik household to talk to her grandson and tells him she wants him to give James another chance. Juliet is furious at James for hitting Romeo.

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It's not long before the teenager slams James and tells him that he pushed Harry away too. Marnie returns to their house just in time to see James turn on Juliet. She's had enough of his behaviour and kicks him out of the family home.

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When Kyle Kelly spots James in the village he takes pity on him and lets him stay over at the Osborne house. He then urges James to not give up on his family.

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The Deveraux family discover Walter's stroke was caused by his sickle cell disease. Martine Deveraux is determined to search for a bone marrow donor and it leaves her thinking of her missing child…

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Mitchell is still devastated and can't forgive himself for not being there for his grandad. Elsewhere Diane Hutchinson spots Scott destroying his Anita wig.He confesses that he's quitting drag but before doing so, Cleo manages to convince him to do one last performance at Mercedes birthday party.

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Scott decides he's not holding back for his last performance. When Mitchell arrives, he's worried when he spots Anita on stage and it quickly becomes clear – she means business.

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Scott tells Mitchell that he doesn't want to be his dirty little secret anymore, but Mitchell confesses that he needs Cleo McQueen and only wants Anita. James chats with Scott and tells him to stop being prideful and go for whatever he wants… The Deveraux family welcome Walter home.

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While Cleo is at university, Anita arrives at the flat leaving Mitchell nervous… Later Cleo tells Mitchell how happy she is in their relationship.

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Meanwhile Sylver is planning a surprise birthday treat for his wife but she's left less than impressed with the 80s rundown caravan.

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She's left asking her husband if he knows her at all. Nana McQueen reminds Mercedes that she's lucky to have Sylver and tells her to give the caravan a chance.

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At Mercedes' birthday party at The Dog, Sylver is giving her the cold shoulder and it soon dawns on her that he was trying to recreate their childhood camping memories - where he first developed feelings for her.

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Breda McQueen gives Tony Hutchinson a bag of Harry's belongings to remember him by. He soon spots his son's phone – what will he do?

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Later on in the week, Joel Dexter goes to The Dog's flat and plays the confession on Harry's phone of Mercedes. He meets up with Mercy and gives her a chance to tell her family first before he goes to the police…

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Cindy Cunningham is out to ensure her grand bazaar goes ahead and even hijacks Leah Barnes and Charlie Dean's school project by trying to get rid of the endangered birds that are standing in her way.

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Leah and Charlie have come up with a resolution to Cindy's bird problem, but he ends up losing his patience with Leah he she calls him a nerd. Luckily by the end of the week Charlie forgives Leah and before you know it, they're friends again.

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Jesse Donovan gives his brother Liam Donovan the adoption papers for Iona. Grace sees that Liam is putting on a happy front and he eventually opens up and admits he's terrified of failing his daughter.

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Sienna tries to keep her ex-boyfriend Brody in her sights by doing some schoolwork on The Dog patio while he works on The Loveboat.

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When Liberty spots Sienna she decides to meddle in their relationship… She's desperate for the pair to make up before their scan tomorrow but fails to make any progress.Liberty tries to glue herself to The Loveboat in protest, so Luke Morgan offers to help out. However, Luke ends up throwing a party with lots of single girls to tempt Brody.

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A jealous Cindy spots Luke kissing one of the girls. However, her luck changes because before long sparks begin to fly between her and Brody.

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Sienna decides that she wants to get back with Brody so she heads over to The Loveboat. Brody hides Cindy behind the bar when his ex-girlfriend arrives and agrees to go to the scan with her.However when Sienna returns to tell him what time the scan is, she spots Cindy giving Brody a kiss on the cheek…

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Nancy Osborne thinks Ollie has second thoughts about the adoption and when Imran Maalik confronts him about it, Ollie confesses that he's not sure what to do because he doesn't want to lose Brooke Hathaway or the baby.

Stephanie, who recently split from co-star Owen Warner, added, "But the reason I wrote this poem is because I ended up fighting through. I thought that if I just spoke out then maybe I could help you too.

"I can’t say it was easy, but I can say I beat the pain. It was hard to wake up and fight the fight from the easy option of ending the game. I didn’t think I was worth it, but now I know I am. Other people’s actions don’t define the person I am.

"I thought I was a helpless case, a life that was bound to end. I had to start a relationship with myself, that I now call my friend."

"I cannot say I love myself, but I like myself enough to know that I am worth the fight, keep going and not give up."

She concluded, "Don’t sit and suffer in silence, get yourself out the bed. Because with the right help, there’s a wonderful life ahead."

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Fans were quick to comment on the post, with one user writing, "That’s fantastic amazing you deed that helps people as well", while another commented, "Very relevant at the moment, glad to see this today."

A third added, "Wow made me cry. I too suffer with mental health and I have been there felt all those emotions. The only precious thing in life is life. Love yourself and everyone around you will love you too. Stay strong and cling on to the important things you cherish. You are loved and wanted more than you know."

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